2007~A Review in Photos

January~Sugar Bear enjoys her first snow. She was an excellent Snowman Builder.




February~ We celebrate Sugar's second Birthday 3 and 1/2 weeks late. She didn't mind, and I liked it set out a little further from Christmas.



(oops...I had to remove a photo as it accidently had sugars name on it. ooppsss!)

March~ Sugar enjoys getting outside more, and discovers a big love for mud puddles.






April~ We start our mission to experience all the different playgrounds our county has to offer.





May~ The trips to the beach begin. Hubby learns to Surf Perch fish, and Sugar and I just busy ourselves with exploring.





June~ Mama gets a new camera, and the obession cranks up a few notches. I am still edit photos I took from June. eeekkkkkk....I only took like 10,000 photos this summer, and I am totally NOT kidding!






July~ You can't accuse us of NOT being patriotic around here. (I made ALL the outfits you see here, including the ones on her cousins)







August~ We take up Hiking. Mama did most the work.




September~ Sugar Bears first hair cut. Thanks Aunt Amy.




Sugar Bear begins preschool.





October~ A trip to the fire Station.




Sugar is the Cat's Meow! and the Queen of Halloween!




Novewmber~ A month to make crafts and give thanks.




December~ The annual trip to see the lights.





There is no doubt about the fact that 2007 held many, many blessing for this family of mine. We look forward to what 2008 has to offer. May you and yours have a very happy and healthy New Year as well!

The Present That Has Me Freaked Out

So Hubby got me a new computer for Christmas. This alone is a enough to freak me the heck out, since he is constantly envious of the time I spend on the computer. Opening a brand spankin new computer on Christmas Eve was a complete and utter SHOCK! However, instead of being all giddy happy about it...I am so stressed out I can hardly see straight! I totally loathe the process of switching computers. The questions swirl in my head like a never ending spin cycle. What to save, what to let go....will Vista suck as much as I hear it does???? Should I upgrade my photoshop, because I am not even sure elements 3.0 will load on Vista.....who do I call? Who do I ask? How long can I put this off? What if the new computer hates me? Why me???????

Yesterday, Hubby asked me if he should just take it back. I think he was feeling a tad put out that I hadn't just jumped at setting it up. so I bit the bullet and set to work. I sent the Sugar to Grandma's house, so that I could concentrate and complete the task uninterrupted.

I am stressed out.

My MIL gave me a really cool switch, so that I can have both my old and new towers running. I have it all set up. My new computer is running as is. I haven't put a thing on it. I am surfing the net on the old one, and I am pretty sure I am going to keep it like that. That way I won't have to worry about adware, and spyware....and whatever the heck else getting on my new computer. I think I am going to just do my photos, photoshop and word processing on the new computer. I think I am going to wipe the programs off the old computer and use it for hubby's video game, surfing the Net, and Sugar's games. The switch is cool though. all I have to do is push the "scroll lock" key twice and it toggles to the other tower. That makes it easy. No switching of cables.

I still haven't figure it all out yet. I am such a freak. Why do I make everything so difficult. Most people would just happily set up the new computer, and go from there. Corey has to think through every single possibility and RETHINK it all again.
Right now I am just hoping someone knows how to make it so that my new 19 inch LCD screen doesn't stretch out my view and make all my photos look like a fun house mirror. When I am using the new tower, it all looks fine, but when I am on my old tower everything is all wonky.....I am just so clueless.....sigh.

Send me good thoughts....and maybe just maybe some helpful hints. Any worries I haven't already thought of? Any wonderful stories of love for Vista? Anyone.....anyone....Bueller? Bueller?


*** oh and don't forget I'm on Top Momma!


CLICK HERE!!!!! You know you want to. Click it a few times in fact. I get a referral each time you click the link, and a click each time you click on Sugar's sweet photo. Isn't that fun? I can't think of a single thing I should be doing today other than clicking. Can you? ***

Please help keep us on TOP!

Hey guys! I'm on Top Momma right now, and I hear it can be difficult to remain there very long. Will you help me out and head on over there once a day.....or maybe 5 times a day, and click on sweet Sugar Bear in her kitty costume. I'll be forever grateful.




CLICK HERE!!!!! You know you want to. Click it a few times in fact. I get a referral each time you click the link, and a click each time you click on Sugar's sweet photo. Isn't that fun? I can't think of a single thing I should be doing today other than clicking. Can you?

Photo Hunters~Messy

I know this isn't too original for the theme, but the best I could come up with was my daughters 1st birthday cake photos. I, again, could choose between these few photos, so I am posting them all.







This one is one of my favs as in the background you can see a photo of me holding little tiny Sugar Bear when she was just a week old. sigh....they grow so fast!





Happy Weekend everyone! I hope you had a fabulous Holiday, and things are settling down as you moving towards the New Year!

Deep Thoughts.....The Day After Christmas.

Something about this Christmas just wasn't right. Something was missing....something was strange....something just plain wasn't there! It has left me feeling so very.....ummmmm just....so very.....blah.

I don't like feeling this way. If you have been reading my blog for very long, you'll know that I am a very positive person, and that I always strive to see the sunny side. I work hard to always look for the things that make life GOOD, and just let go of the things that aren't quite right....but this time....I just can't stop hearing the phrase, "is this it?" over and over and over. I hear it.....it repeats....and it is driving me insane.

MAKE.IT.STOP!!!!!

I have been racking my oh so tired brain for a possible reason for this melancholy. It wasn't the presents, as I receive way more than I ever dreamed I would need. It wasn't the food, as I ate entirely more than any full size family could want. It wasn't the Sugar Bear, as she seemed to delight in all that this Christmas Season had to offer. It wasn't the hubby, as he was actually home for Christmas, which in all the years we have been together, it hasn't always been so. That leaves me wondering.....is it me? Am I the problem.....is it ME? Haven't I thrown myself into the season? Haven't I shopped, wrapped, baked, crafted, decorated, and so on? ummmm yes....I certainly have. So tell me....what was missing?

Ah HA! I think I just might have figured it out! I know what was missing....the CHAOS! Yup...I think that is it. The Chaos was missing....and now....NOW I feel like Christmas just isn't Christmas without it. Ummmmmmm yeah.....that is CRAZY!

Here's the deal.....as I age I become less and less and LESS tolerant of chaos, which in my life is defined by noise, lots of people, and juggling of schedules. In the last few years, I have found myself cringing in the corner during family get togethers wishing that I was anywhere....anywhere but there. In fact, last Christmas we were about an hour into the morning when I found myself in my parent's dark bedroom, curled up in fetal position, covering my ears, and chanting, "I want to go home...I want to go home...I want to go HOME!" It wasn't pretty. I vowed right then and there that I would NOT have a repeat of this mess. I would plan a very different Christmas next year.

So it was. For the first time in my entire life, I hosted my in laws at MY house on Christmas eve. I used to go to their house, AND my parent's house. Both houses full of adults and children....feeling merry and bright and LOUD. This year, I got to stay home, and only host my hubby's parents. It was relaxed....calm....and quiet. Sugar Bear had a great time being the center of attention, and didn't have to negotiate for the best toys with her cousins. There was no bickering....and whinning....and crying. You could almost hear the angels sing. By 8pm the in laws left, and Sugar was in bed on time. Hubby and I were even tucked in before 10 PM! Wow! We actually got EXTRA sleep on Christmas eve.

Christmas morning, Sugar awoke at 7:35ish, and was thrilled to see everything under the tree from Santa, mama and daddy were for her. There was no misunderstandings of whose gifts were whose. It was calm, relaxing, and QUIET! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I could just feel the peace...the comfort...and the JOY!

Later in the morning, we traveled to my parent's house to exchange presents and for a nice Christmas dinner. By the time we arrived, my brother and his family were heading off to their next destination, and it was down to just my parents, my grandmother, and later my Aunt. This is VERY different from the past. There used to be at least 15 people for dinner at my parent's house each year. Besides my parents having to take a 15 minute break in the middle of dinner to go get 9 cows off the highway, it was a very relaxing, and QUIET dinner.

It was ALL so great. I had NO stress this year. I had NO anxiety. I didn't run from a room in madness. I most definitely didn't end up in fetal position. So what the heck is wrong with me? Why is it that I just don't feel like Christmas even happened? Seriously, am I so used to all the hustle, bustle and noise, that anything less than that is just NOT Christmas? Please say it isn't so! Please tell me that if I just stick it out for a few more years THIS peaceful, quiet, less hectic Christmas will become the NEW Christmas. Please.....please just tell me that I don't need all that mess to really truly feel the Christmas Spirit! Please.....

Wordless Wednesday~Christmas 2006

The Best Present Of All!

I never wanted anything so badly in my life as I wanted to be a mother. Nothing felt near as important as having the chance to experience the mother/child bond. It was 8 years into my marriage that my little miracle happened.

It wasn't that I had fertility trouble....however it was just as complicated. You see, hubby was dead set against becoming a dad. He was firm....and I was floundering in the utter stuckness of loving my husband so completely, yet longing for my child. How on earth could I leave a marriage in which the love was satisfying and the bond and attachment was strong, just in hope to find a new relationship with someone who wanted to have a family? I was completely at a loss. A horrible and terrible situation.

I had resigned myself to what would be would be. I focused on being happy no matter what. Life was too short to dwell on the negative, and I wasn't going to sit around moping about what I didn't have. I threw myself into friendships, and hobbies. I tried with all my might to shove as much as I possibly could into that empty hole in my heart. At times, I felt my efforts were successful, but with each announcement of a new baby in my group of friends or family my heart ached more and more.

It was when I started to realize that I might be pregnant, that I knew life was taking me in a new direction. Sugar Bear, by all accounts, could be considered an "accident", but I like to think of her as an answered prayer. Now it wasn't easy, that is for certian, and I certainly paid a price. My relationship with Hubby will never be the same, but we are making it. We take each day at a time, and slowly but surely we will figure it all out.

Despite the struggles in my marriage, Sugar Bear has no doubt been the biggest blessing of my life. I wouldn't take back a single moment of the last several years for anything. She utterly completes me. I am satisfied with life. There is no longer a hole in my heart just waiting to be filled. Sugar is in there, and in fact, my heart is now bursting at the seams. There are days I fear it might blow right out of my chest if she says one more sweet thing.

Life is good! I've said it before....and I'll keep saying. I am Living.....and Loving EVERY minute of it! If all I ever have under my Christmas tree for the rest of my life is my sweet Sugar Bear....I will be one happy mama.

In honor of the best present I have ever received, I'd like to share some vintage Sugar bear. These were taken while trying to get the perfect shot for our 2005 Christmas card. This was Sugar Bear's first Christmas. Oh how I miss her baby fat. There is a part of me that has recently been missing the chunky little baby she used to be so much that my heart aches. I am loving how fabulous she is now at nearly 3 years old, but that doesn't mean I forget who she once was, and secretly wish I could have at least one more day to kiss those cheeks and squeeze her thighs. sigh.......











Merry Christmas, and may your blessings surround your heart this year.