Hey there Internet.....I'm sooooooo sorry for violating your strict policy regarding downloads. I didn't mean too....honestly....do I look like the kind of girl who would purposely violate you? I THINK NOT! It has to be some sort of mistake.....or something like that, right? It wasn't me.......it wasn't me.
Okay...so maybe it was ME, but it wasn't on PURPOSE. I didn't even know there was such a policy. Yeah......I know...I really should read the fine print more often, but usually those things just don't apply to ME....right? right?
Okay....so maybe those things do apply to ME, but they shouldn't.....I'm a sweet little blogger mommy. Nothing to worry about here. I just wanted to download some wedding photography tutorials...nothing BAD....or anything....just photography stuff. I didn't KNOW that downloading over 35 hours of video in one week was NOT OKAY. sheesh.....who knows that stuff? sigh....
So, Internet, can't we just forgive and forget? Can't we just say, "OOPS!" and move on?
No? No, we can't?
Seriously? I'm kicked off the Internet for 2 weeks, and possibly longer?
REALLY?
REALLY?
No "take backsies?"
:(
Okay...fine.......be that way, but I'm not the only one who will suffer from this atrocity. You are depriving MILLIONS (okay maybe 13 or so) of my devoted blogging fans the opportunity to experience Sugar Bear's first day of Kindergarten today.......and the first day of Ballet Class...also today......and to see some pics of our super exciting bay crabbing trip this past weekend.....and our teeny tiny baby bunnies that were just born. Oooooo....and they are sooooooooo cute, too.
Seriously, Internet....you are so selfish. How will everyone survive? Don't blame me if there is a revolt......YOU are the one being all "Policy this....policy THAT?" whatever......
I was already tired.....and now I'll have to come to work early...and stay late to make up for some valuable time spent writing this darn letter. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive you. Let's just say........YOU ARE ON MY LIST. You hear me?
I tried to spit in your eye, and only succeeded in disgustifying my monitor. I tried to kick you in the shins....and only ended up with a stubbed toe and a dented tower. I know violence isn't the answer, but I'm cranky.
Hope you are satisfied, Internet. You are sooooooooooooooooo not invited to my birthday party, Which happens to be tomorrow! No cupcakes for you!
Not your friend,
Corey
Show all posts
Monday, September 13, 2010
OOPS!....Did I do that?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
This and That.....and ARGH!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Why are they poisoning our kids?
I don't often use my blog to discuss all the things that worry me....or just plain piss me off, but sometimes I just can't let things go by without passing it on. I am forever reading more and more articles that send my heart racing at the inadequacy of our Food and Drug Administrations in keeping us from harm. Recent news about CADMIUM, spurred me to compose this post. I used to worry a lot about the LEAD in all the toys and trinkets. I'm aware, and shop accordingly, but now, come to find out, manufacturers are replacing lead with CADMIUM, which is actually MORE dangerous. Not only is it a neuro-toxin, it is a carcinogen. You have got to be kidding me!
I have always been a worrier, but one of the big things I have been tackling since Sugar Bear has been born (actually since I was pregnant with her) is her chemical exposure. Children absorb way more chemicals from their surroundings than adults. Their little bodies are growing at a rapid rate, and their cells are reproducing quickly. I simply can not be responsible for allowing her little body to absorb all the poison in our world. I do lots of little things, and some big things to prevent as much of the exposure as I can. Some things are just too hard to fight, so I take it in baby steps, and hope for the best.
Here is a list of some of the things I do or don't do in an effort to reduce her chemical exposure. You will find that I have linked to many of the reasons behind my choices.
-Only natural soaps are used by Sugar and I for bathing and washing hands.
-I only bathe Sugar twice a week (unless extremely dirty)
-I only wash Sugar's hair once a week, and only use natural shampoo.
-Only natural lotions and creams are used for her skin.
-Only Natural toothpaste is used.
-0nly Natural nail polish and remover are used.
-Only use natural sunscreen and insect repellent.
-Only products that are fragrance free are used on Sugar Bear.
-I limit the use of artificial fragrance on myself.
-I use natural deodorant or techniques on myself.
-I limit the use of chemical based cleaners in our home, and I'm hoping to phase into using only
natural cleaners in the future.
-I do not allow cheap play makeup to be used by Sugar. Only natural based lip gloss.
-NO cheapie fake metal jewelry in our home.
-I limit most toys from dollar stores in general.
-I do not allow artificial sweeteners in our food.
-I limit Sugar Bear's consumption of food dyes.
-Sugar Bear's bedding and sleep wear must be free of flame retardants.
-I limit the use of plastic food or beverage containers in our home, and never heat up food in plastic containers.
-Sugar uses a Klean Kanteen for her portable beverage container.
-I do not allow Sugar to use my cellphone. On rare occasions she might talk to grandma using the wired earpiece, but she is not allowed to hold the actually phone.
-I only use my cellphone with the wired ear piece, and I do not keep it near my body, EVER.
(I am certain I am forgetting something, but I wanted to get this typed up and out there as soon as possible.)
The links I provided here were found quickly doing Internet searches. They were not the original material that convinced me to make the changes I have made. While I am fully aware that some of the articles might be unfounded, it is clear to me that chemical exposure is NOT worth the risk. I can not completely eliminate the chemicals in our home, but I can greatly reduce our exposure, and that is my intent.
Basically, if I know about it....and have another option, I'll make the change. I figure if there is any doubt, I might as well do all I can to limit the exposure. There are several areas that I am currently in the process of switching out the old for the new:
-Only using natural dish soap.
-Only using natural laundry detergent.
-Finding a natural flea control system for our pets.
-Moving away from cooking with Teflon.
If you have any questions are want further information on any of the things I do, and why, please feel free to ask them via comment or email.
I will follow-up this post in the near future with one that highlights some of our favorite products we have found.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
FFFFFFFrustrated!
Monday, March 30, 2009
I suppose I might as well say it....or I'll never get any sleep
Okay....so the last thing I thought I'd be doing on this busy Monday evening is writing this post, but I simply can not think of other things until I do this thang. It is driving me totally insane, and I just want a good nights sleep.
Some of you lovely individuals might be aware of a fun little awards show sponsored by Nickelodeon, called "the kids choice awards." It has been around since the late eighties. Traditionally it is full of fun, super stars and lots of slime. I'm not certain what age group this particular show is aimed at, but I know that they were advertising it this year on the Nick, Nick Jr, AND NOGGIN (pre-school age shows) channels. Sugar Bear saw MANY advertisements for this event, as did I. I have rarely given the Kids Choice Awards a second glance, but this year something caught my eye during one of their promotions.
First....there seemed to be some little thing about Nickelodeon continuing to honor CHRIS BROWN by allowing him to remain a nominee. Seriously....they want to honor a man who has been charged with domestic violence? Seriously? Luckily...I have found that I'm not the only one that found that a bit appalling. However, it took Chris to withdraw himself, to end that drama.
Then, as we sat unawares watching Pinky Dinky Doo.... the Sugar and I were treated to the news that we could just tune into the awards to see some great performers. Miley Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers....and of course......the Pussycat Dolls. Ummmmm......WHO? We can't be talking about THESE Pussycat Dolls...
ummmmm I guess so.
I have to say, that I specifically tuned in to the awards show to see if they were really going to have mostly naked woman gyrating on stage for a bunch of children. Sadly.......they did. Seriously....they did. If you haven't seen it....please check it out, and see what Nickelodeon thinks is appropriate for children. If there is any doubt that it is raunchy....take the fact that I couldn't pull up this video at work due to a security check that labeled it PORNOGRAPHY!
See Video HERE!
Ummmm...let's look at some lyrics...shall we?
"I got (I got) shivers (shivers),
When you touch my face,
I'll make you hot,
Give all you got,
I'll make you wanna say (Jai Ho,,Jai Ho)
I got (I got) fever (fever),
Running like a fire,
For you I will go all the way,
I wanna take you higher (Jai Ho)
I keep it steady uh-steady,
That's how I do it (Jai Ho)
This beat is heavy, so heavy,
You gonna feel it. "
and
"I see them staring at me
Ooh I'm a trendsetter
Yes this is true cuz what I do
No one can do it better
You can talk about me
Cuz I'm a hot topic
I see you watching me watching me
And I know you want it, oh"
Pair those words with extremely sexy clothes, risque dancing (including boob grabbing), and I'm pretty sure what the message was.
Okay...so let me say, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?"
The really sad thing is.....while searching for conversations about this totally inappropriate performance, I read many folks defending it. Their defense????? "this is the REAL world....and your kids have to learn about it sometime!!!!" and "The pussycat dolls really toned it down....it wasn't so bad!" and "The pussycat dolls aren't the only ones with suggestive lyrics!"
SERIOUSLY??????
Are people honestly thinking that we have to just sit back and allow this hypersexualization of our young children because 'that is just the way it is!'????? We have to accept that children are getting exposed to sex earlier and earlier, as just the way of life. Do we just need to relax, and let the media turn our pre-schoolers into miniature pussycat dolls, because EVERYONE is doing it?
I am so completely enraged by this mess. I have ranted about this before, with the whole Dora thing. I know I might sound like a broken record here, but it is on my mind A LOT lately. I worry so much about the messages Sugar Bear is receiving, and it isn't as easy as just not letting her watch these shows. The children she is in contact with at daycare, and preschool may be watching these things. The children of my child's generation are being tainted with this stuff, and it WILL affect my daughter no matter how much I shield her. Just the other day, a 5 year said this to Sugar Bear. "When I'm 16, I'm going to marry a HOT GUY!" She literally, put her hand on her hip (wearing low rise jeans and a belly shirt), and tossed her long blond hair over her shoulder while saying it. I was there....I saw it..... later Sugar asked me what a 'hot guy' is. Seriously? I have to try to define a "hot guy" to my four year old?????? sigh.....
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Photostory Friday~ What is this World coming To?
Monday, August 25, 2008
Hot and Buggy
So.....things aren't going as planned these days. We are HOT and BUGGY. Well, Sugar is HOT, and we might ALL be BUGGY. Time will tell.
Sugar Bear has had a fever since Saturday. No other symptoms....just the fever that persists. As long as she is under the influence of Motrin...she is a happy, normal Sugar. I'm waiting for the fever to end.....then most likely look for a rash to develop. We'll see. While the fever is present, I let her sleep with me, so that I can keep an eye on it throughout the night. I just love having my little snuggle muffin back in my bed.
HOWEVER, I got a VERY dreaded phone call yesterday evening, that really made me cringe. LICE........a child at Sugar's daycare has LICE. Sigh...being that I work in the preschool industry....I am not shocked. Lice doesn't discriminate. So....I checked The Sugar....and CRAP....she has it. Sigh.....
So......I have spent a great deal of time treating her......and myself (no one was here to check me, so I treated myself) using a non-toxic method, washing EVERYTHING in the house, vacuuming like a crazy fool, freezing stuffed animals, and picking....picking....and picking eggs out of Sugar's hair.
Your head itches now, huh? yeah....it sucks.
So....all the cool posts I had planned to post....haven't happened. Editing the two photo shoots I did recently....hasn't happened. We are Hot and Buggy, baby. Oh the joy.....LIFE IS....ummmmm good?
Monday, July 21, 2008
So Much For Relaxing.....
Sunday Evening, I sat back enjoying a magazine while Sugar Bear splashed happily in her kiddy pool teaching her baby doll to swim. I was thrilled that she seemed perfectly content to play by herself. This isn’t always the case, so I have to say I was pretty content. Kicked back in my Adirondack chair I cracked open the July 2008 issue of Parents magazine.
Before I became a parent, I was an avid recreational reader. I hate to admit that I haven’t read a “real book” in over a year. I occasionally read a photography book, or even a book on parenting, but no kick back and relax type of books here. It isn’t Sugar Bear’s fault. It is my own. I have replaced my old reading time with other hobbies. Ahem….blogging being one of them obviously. Photography takes up a large portion of this time as well. I do miss reading…..and I know I will be back to it someday. For now….I real blogs…and lots of magazines. You see, I find it much easier to pick up and quickly put down a magazine than a book. I simply do not get sucked into it. At the present time, I have entirely too many subscriptions thanks to E-bay. Sigh….did you know you can get magazine subscriptions CHEAP on e-bay? I’m talking CHEAP! I’ve gotten some pretty unbelievable deals on there, and I can’t pass up a deal. We are talking…..3 years Fitness, 3 years Self, AND 3 years Weight Watchers for………$6.44. Yup…….less than $7 I got 3 years….of all 3 magazines. WOW! My Parents subscription was 3 years for less than $7 as well. It is NUTS!
Anyhow….man, I sure know how to digress, huh? There I sat…..feet all up…..the Sugar more than happy, and I contented to do a little light reading. All was going well, I learned about the best sunscreens out this year, how I have warped Sugar Bear for life by letting her view TV before she was two, and how to tell the difference between many common rashes of summer. Great stuff…..I’m telling you. Then….(why is there always a then? )…I flipped the page to a promising article on page 90 entitled, “What Your Doctor, Babysitter, Preschool Teacher, (and all the other pros in your life) Really Want You To Know…But Wouldn‘t Dare Tell You To Your Face“. Going into to it I was intrigued by the idea, but experience has told me that I often already know what they are going to say.
The Daycare Provider opened the conversation explaining that she likes you to be on time at pick-up, pay attention to your child, not your phone when dropping off or picking up, and to follow the rules. Nothing new here…..I nodded and moved on. Next up, the Pediatrician reminded us that our children are not as fragile as we believe and that every little sniffle is not cause for concern….and definitely not anti-biotics. Again….DUH……old news. Got it!
Then the Preschool teacher took over. Here is where I need to interject that my bachelor’s degree is in early childhood education, and I used to be a preschool teacher. I no longer teach, but I work for a federally run preschool program for children of low-income families. I am very much in touch with this field of interest. As I read the first small paragraph, my nice, relaxed, moment of peace was rudely interrupted. I read with my teeth clenched . I’d like to say that the other two paragraphs authored by this preschool teacher made up for the first, but I can not. I shook my head, laid the magazine on my lap….and stared blankly in the direction of my child playing to contently in her pool. As I observed her joy, my mind raced through what I had just read, and the anger welled up in me. If my Sugar had not been in her pool, I would have immediately rushed to my computer to get these thoughts on paper, but I was tied to her side to ensure her safety. This allowed time for my thoughts to fester, and grow. I had hoped it would work itself out, but alas…here we are, hours later, and I am still worked up. What, may you ask, did this lady say? What could have riled the usually calm and carefree Corey? Let me tell you!
And I quote:
“If a parent doesn’t follow my directions, I’ll assume her child won’t either.” Basically, she goes on to explain that if a parent doesn’t follow through on filling out forms correctly, emailing instead of calling, or putting unacceptable foods in their child’s lunch it immediately “creates a bias against your child. And most teachers feel the same way.”
Sigh…….is it just me….or is this one of the saddest statements you have ever heard? Seriously? Seriously? She is saying that based purely on the parent’s ability to meet her expectations she can judge the child’s ability to succeed in her classroom? Seriously? Is that what she is saying? We are talking PRESCHOOL here. Don’t get me wrong…I fully understand the importance, as a parent, of providing a good example. I get that….I really do, but I can tell you right now, that my own personal middle age forgetfulness, has absolutely no baring on Sugar Bear’s ability to attend in the classroom. It burdens my heart to think that Sugar will be judged by MY own personality flaws. Please understand that I am not suggesting a parent not strive to follow the rules, and be prompt, and courteous, but I AM saying we all make mistakes, and it doesn’t mean our child will automatically make the same mistakes.
Miss Preschool Speaks For All, goes on to state, “the six most lethal words to a teacher at the end of class are ‘Hi! Do you have a minute?’ We hate that. Make an appointment. Likewise, don’t pretend you’re in my classroom to volunteer and then try to use that time to chat about your child’s progress. " Ugh…..again….is it just me, or does this woman not realize that as parents most of us are doing our best to provide for our family, and be a large part of our child’s education. If I innocently ask if you have a minute, I will respectfully understand if you don’t. Just be an adult and say, “I’m sorry, I don’t have the time your concern deserves today. Can we set up an appointment?” How hard is that? And if I am spending time in your classroom volunteering, you can entirely expect that I might ask you how my child is doing sometime while I'm there. It doesn't mean that is the ONLY reason I came. ARGH!
Lastly……according to this particular preschool teacher she knows the biggest secret among teachers. Like to hear it? Ummmm yeah......... you have a reason to be weary, but here it is, and I quote:
“Just as you have a preferred teacher you want for your kid next year, we have preferred students we want for our classrooms. (okay….fair enough….she should have stopped here…..but she didn’t. ) How to become a preferred family? Start each school year by sending your teacher this email: ‘Please provide me with a wish list of ten things you would like for your classroom. ’ She’ll ask for things like Post-it notes, a chess set, a 50 cent deck of cards. When you spend maybe $20 on these items, it goes through the grapevine that you are here not just for your kids but for the entire class-that this is the family that cares about the community, whose child is probably a team player too. “
Okay…..I needed a serious deep breath after reading that. Is this lady seriously suggesting that the only way to become a preferred family, and have your child seen as a “team player” is to spend money in the classroom? WHAT? Again with the child being valued or de-valued by something entirely based on the parents actions. I’m sorry but my financial ability to spend $20 in her classroom should have no baring on my child’s ability to be a part of the community. And this is the biggest secret among teachers? If you ask me….it should have remained a secret.
In my opinion, this article quickly made all teachers out to be whiny, judgmental individuals that base their opinions of the children they work with on the parents ability to meet her standards both personally, and financially. SAD…..I’m telling you SAD. This is an embarrassment to the profession, and a disgusting way to look at life. I am not blind, and I have seen that some people do base their feelings about a child on whether they like the parents or not, but seriously…..should teachers be dong this? Should they actually be encouraging parents to play along with this? “You better suck up to me….or your child will not succeed!"
As a professional in this field, I can think of a whole slew of things that would have been more appropriate to share with parents. Things that would actually help their child’s success in school. Things that would help parents understand the important role they play in their child’s education. Instead, the editors at Parents magazine chose to advise parents how to behave so that their child will not be discriminated against. If this really is the “normal” thought process of the average preschool educator…..I suppose I am glad I know now. Maybe it is time to re-consider home schooling.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
What Does Disney Have Against Mothers Anyhow?
Last November I purchase the Disney movie, Bambi, for Sugar Bear. I had reservations about whether she would like it, but being that one of my favorite quotes comes from that movie, I was eager to add it to our collection. I was fairly certain that the more difficult pieces of subject matter in the film would go over her head...at least for the first few viewings. Even though my Hubby is a hunter, I have not yet figured out the best waY to explain that process to my animal lover of a Sugar Bear.
I was correct, in my thinking, and despite the rather depressing plot, Sugar Bear fell in love with the movie. She would have chose to watch it 24/7 if I had let her. I proceeded to busy myself during the parts that invariably make me cry. Sometimes, Sugar Bear would wonder where Bambi's mama went, and I would just simply echo what his father toLD him, "She can't be with you anymore.", and it seemed to satisfy her.
When Christmas arrived, and my sister-in-law gave Sugar Bear a lovely Bambi story book. This present was in deed a hit. In fact, I became subjected to reading it EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT before bed. While reading, and holding my child so close, I could not hide from the emotion of the story. EACH.AND.EVERY.TIME I had to say the words, "your Mother can't be with you anymore..." my heart broke, my throat closed up, my eyes filled with tears, and I was barely able to squeak out the words. EACH.AND.EVERY.TIME my dear little Sugar Bear would look up at me, and say, "Are you okay mama?", and I would pull her into my body a little tighter, and mumble something to assure her that I was going to be fine.
Sometime during my 13th night in a row of emotional torture, I began to wonder.....WHAT ON EARTH DOES DISNEY HAVE AGAIN MOTHERS ANYHOW? Later that night, I lay awake mentally clicking off Disney movie after Disney movie that in some way harmed a mother, or completely disregarded her presence. Now I know many of these stories were written before Disney decided to make them into movies, but SERIOUSLY....there is a disturbing pattern here.
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs- Snow's mother dies...and her step mother is so jealous of her, she sets about having her killed.
Cinderella- Cinder's mother dies, and her father marries a horrible woman who defines the term "evil step mom."
Dumbo- The mother gets jailed for trying to protect her little one.
The Jungle Book- Mowgli appears to have been abandoned by his mother.
The Fox and the Hound- The mother fox is killed by a hunter in the first 5 minutes of the movie.
The Little Mermaid- Where is Ariel's mother, anyhow?
Beauty and The Beast- Again.....no mother.
Aladdin- Ummmmm.....does Jasmine have a mother?
The Hunchback of Notre Dame- The mother is killed.
Tarzan- Both Parents are killed by a leopard.
Lilo and Stitch- Again.....no parents.
Brother Bear- OH don't get me started on Brother Bear.....that dang movie rips my heart out throws it on the floor and stomps on it with big steel toed boots. Again....in the beginning, the baby bears mother is killed.
Chicken Little- Mom is AWAL.
Finding Nemo- Movie opens....mother is killed. NICE!
Monster's Inc.- Is it just me....or shouldn't Boo's mom be worried?
Ratatouille- AGAIN....the mouse has a dad.....but where is the mother?
The list goes on.....it really has to make you wonder. What is the message Disney is trying to send here. Do they devalue motherhood so much, that they figure their main characters have no need for a mom? Are they still so old fashioned that they still focus on the father being the head of the household, so when cutting characters to save time and money, they get rid of the mother? WHAT.IS.THE.DEAL.HERE!!!
I have a theory....I really do. Wanna hear it? Are you sure? Okay....you twisted my arm. This is how I see it. Disney really places the highest value on the symbol of motherhood, and the strong maternal bond. They know that the relationship between mother and child is something most people can relate to. By taking the main character's mother away, they are secretly forcing us to relate strongly to them, and feel more connected to the character. We can all imagine how horrible it is to be without a mother, so when a main character is without mother....we feel sorry for them, and become emotionally connected to them. We root for them, and want the best for them. I mean....who doesn't feel sorry for the underdog....and what is more sad, then a motherless child?
Am I on to something here, or is it all coincidence that like 90% of all Disney movies are without mother? No matter the reason, I find it terribly sad. Children viewing these films are not getting the opportunity to see strong maternal bonding. Several times while watching these films, Sugar Bear has said to me, "Where is Ariel's mama?" or "what happened to fox's mama?" It is confusing so for her.
Now don't get me wrong. I am ALL about diversity. I am certainly NOT saying that all movies should feature an intact Nuclear family, but why is it ALWAYS the mom? I sit here trying to think of at least one animated Disney flick where the father has died, and the mom is raising the child? I'm stumped.....Can you think of one? See what I mean? Shouldn't it be equal opportunity? Shouldn't children see single mother households as well? Shouldn't they?
I'm just sayin'.....
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Hopeless....or Hopeful?
You tell me?
I have over 12 great post ideas swimming around in my head, and because I have Momnesia, I have each of them started in draft form. Even though I have a great idea one minute....I am certainly able to lose it the next. Forgetful I am. There is no question about that.
If you know me in real life, you may giggle at my next statement...no wait....you might actually fall off your chair laughing your hiney off, but stick with me, I'll try to explain. I AM A PERFECTIONIST! Yes I know....calm down......it isn't THAT funny....really. STOP! I am .....I really am a perfectionist. You see, in nearly all areas of my life, I have great desire to excel. I have grand ideas of how things should be done. I have certain methods I feel need to be followed to get these things done. I want all things to be perfect. HOWEVER, I don't have time to actually do these things in the way I want them done, so..........they never get done.
Yes! You read it right.....they never get done. I sit in piles of clutter, next to books never started, craft projects waiting to be tackled, and apparently blog posts just dying to be written. These things sit there....and I do nothing. Why......why don't these things get done....because I don't have the time to do them "right", so they don't get done at all. UGH....this is driving me nuts. Unless I have the proper time to devote to something....I just don't do it at all.
I know I am not alone in this affliction. It can be infuriating. I have wanted to remodel areas of my house, but I have yet to do a single thing, as the task overwhelms me with what needs to be done. I can't just do it by bits and pieces because that wouldn't be "right". So not one room has been touched....in 11 years. sigh......what is wrong with me?
I drive my friends CRAZY with my scrap booking perfectionism. I MUST do it in an organized fashion that will ensure that nothing gets out of order or forgotten. To be completely and totally prepared to scrapbook, it takes hours of organization of photos, supplies, searching for sayings and quotes, and so on. Because of THIS....I rarely am prepared to actually scrapbook with my friends, because I haven't had the time to do the prep work. So....nothing gets done.
I could bore you will all the PROOF of my illness, but I am still sick with a sinus infection....and my mind is in a fog. I had high hopes of getting some of my pending blog posts written this week, since I am off work, but this sinus infection makes me feel like my head is swimming. I have trouble gathering my thoughts. These posts, I have planned, are extremely important posts. They are some pretty intense topics that are near and dear to my heart.....so....YUP.....they will sit there, until I have the time to really devote to them. Sometimes looking at the ever increasing list of post ideas makes me feel so hopeful.....and other times.....like tonight....I feel hopeless. Will I ever get to these important posts, or will my crazy need to make them perfect hold me back from ever writing them at all? They aren't helping anyone sitting in my draft box, now are they? Even if I posted something half as perfect as I imagined, it might bless someones heart, spark some interest, or move them to action.
Sigh......hopeful or hopeless? What do you think?
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Unexpected!
Last night, I crept out of Sugar Bear's room after putting her to bed, and settled myself down at the computer to write my blog post. Being that ultra thrifty person I am, all the lights in the house were off expect for the Christmas tree lights and a lamp by the computer. Suddenly, our kitchen door flew open. I jumped up to hurry and close it, as I assumed it was the wind. I was half way there when a big voice said............."Hi Babe!" I nearly jumped right out of my skin. Unexpectedly my Hubby had come home.
You see, I don't talk much of Hubby. He is a private person who just doesn't understand this blogging business, and just isn't too sure he wants to be a part of it. He and I have a pretty complex relationship that confuses even people that have known us for the 17 years we have been together. That's okay....life can be like that. Much of it just can't be explained. I am all about loving people as they are, excepting that they may not ever change, but gently nudging them to be the best person that THEY can be.
Anyhow, I will say that my husband is in the commercial fishing industry. For most of our relationship he has been gone for short and L O N G periods of time. I am used to this, and to be honest, I like it that way. tee hee....doesn't mean I don't love him, but I do like time to myself, and I enjoy my ME time. Recently, as of last April, hubby decided he was taking some time off.....and/or RETIRING! eeeeekkkkkk....he is only 35. What is he talking about? I understand that he is burnt out...but ummmmm RETIRED? I am thinking mid-life crisis here....but I am just going with it...letting him work through it. We will be fine.....right?
So, from April until the second week of November he was home....allllll day.....everyday! I have to say that this is a tough thing for a relationship that is used to being apart more than they are together. We struggled a bit, but we survived. In November he set about honoring an agreement with his former boss to work Crab Season. He traveled 2 hours each morning and night to work the gear and get ready. Usually, in past years he would just stay at the boat, but this time he came home each night. Then the day after Thanksgiving he left to load the boat, head to another port, and start setting the pots. On December first they started crabbing. He has been gone ever since. Time flew....Sugar and I were sick. I was away for a week. Not very many of my "do while hubby is gone" plans got done...and now he is back....2 weeks early. eeeekkkkkk (crab season was not a good one this year) At this point, he is not looking at working....ever...or much...or who knows. He isn't really wanting to talk about it. It has me a little stressed.
All, I can say is that we have some major adjusting to do. You see, 17 years of doing things based on the fact that you have very little and precious time together, is a hard habit to break. I'll admit, over the years...I spoiled him. When he was home, it was allllllllllll about him. We watched what he wanted to watch on TV. We ate his favorite foods. We went where he wanted to go. I put off things I wanted to do until he was gone. Well, my friends, that just isn't going to fly when he is home allllllllllll the time. It can't be all about him, now can it? Ummmm yeah....he still thinks so.
Hold on....cause I think it is going to get bumpy!
Really this isn't meant to be whiney...or complainy....or anything negative really. It started out as just an explanation as to why I didn't have a new post up this morning. tee hee....sorry, you all got the bonus plan I guess. wink wink....
We hope to be back to our regularly scheduled posting tomorrow. Well, actually I might skip Freestyle Friday, and just post what I meant to post last night.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Is It A Sign?
"Dial up, dial up, dial up up up....
Dial up, dial up, dial up up up....
Dial up, dial up, dial up up up....
Dial uuuuuuppppppppp...Sucks sucks sucksssssssssssssssss!"
ummmmm...yeah, I'd like to tell you that things went as planned last Wednesday, and I am currently surfing the Net at lightening speed.....but that would make me a big fat liar with my pants on fire. In fact.....things went as FAR from planned as possible.
They were supposed to show up between 8am and noon on Wednesday. I took the morning off from work, as it is required that the homeowner be present during installation. At 11:22 am, they called me, and proceeded to ignore the fact that they were supposed to already be here, and try to schedule me for the following Monday (today) or Tuesday. I didn't let them off easy, I explained that I had been waiting for this dang Satellite Internet for several months. When I finally got an appointment for installation, it was set 1 1/2 months out, but they would kindly take my $199 for equipment right then. As the appointment approached, no one called me to confirm. The day before I called to verify that someone was going to be there. It was agreed that someone would be at my house between 8am and noon, and now....here we are on the phone and you are telling me that no one even intended on being here today?
The person on the phone did a lovely job of passing the buck, and acting like she never even had my name as a possible customer until that very morning. She worked really hard to place all the negativity onto Dish Network, instead of the contracted company she worked for. I explained how I had missed work for no apparent reason that morning, and was pretty frustrated with that, but if they could come on Monday, it would work out since I had that day off for the holiday. She kindly told me that she would call me to let me know if they would be coming in the AM or PM. I hung up and went to work.
Not surprisingly, I never heard back from her. I called on Saturday. She babbled on about being so busy, and fumbled to find the paperwork that would indicate whether my installation was scheduled for the AM or PM. She finally confirmed that someone would be at my house between 12pm and 5pm on Monday the 12th.
Well, I'd like to say that I am surfing the Internet now at Satellite speed, but I.AM.NOT! Guess who was a NO SHOW? and didn't call or anything? Seriously people. Where in the heck did costumer service go? Why on earth would the not call? Today could have been great. I had lots of time to go shopping and out to lunch with my hubby who was home from work, but NOOOOOOO we had to be home by noon. Sugar took a fabulously long nap today, and I could have been reading blogs...but I didn't want to be all dialed up in case they needed to call me for directions. So instead....I had a really long boring day, and they don't seem to care!
My question is this......Is is some sort of sign that I should just stick with freakin dial up or what? I mean....I have been trying to get the dang thing for nearly 6 months. I would try for a different company, but I would have to pay over $20 more a month. I have never had any trouble with Dish Network for my TV. Why is this so hard? Is it a sign? Should I just let it go?
P.S...I'm not even going to look at this for typos tonight....sorry....I am a little pissy! :( I want to just go read some other blogs...and lift my spirits.
Friday, September 14, 2007
Four For Friday
I am sitting here staring at the screen with a mind so full of other things that I can't come up with a good idea for this week's Four For Friday. I am THIS close to just posting four pictures again, but I feel the need to present more than that each week.
You see....I am under stress. A great deal of stress. More stress than I have experienced in a long, long time. The good news is.....the event causing this stress isn't about me or my life directly, but the bad news is.....it affects people I love, people I worry about, and in turn it will affect my life. The most stressful part of all this is I can't talk about it. I have to keep it in for awhile. I don't like holding it in. I don't like secrets. I am STRESSED.
So...for this week's installment of Four For Friday, I want to talk about four things I do when I am stressed.
1. I am a stress eater. You know how some people when under stress or emotional pain don't have an appetite and find themselves losing weight? Well that is NOT me. I EAT! I eat JUNK! I eat A LOT of junk! When a good friend of mine died suddenly, I found myself in the grocery store holding a big bag of Cheetos. I proceeded to eat the entire bag in one evening. It was that moment, that I realized my huge potential to overeat large amounts of JUNK when under stress or emotional turmoil. I have fear that over the next few months I will gain 20lbs!
2. I take deep breaths, and let the air out of my mouth as if slowly blowing out a candle. There is a nice loud air blowing sound that accompanies it too. I do this with no warning, and often when under tension and stress. I know I am subconsciously trying to calm myself down, but it can be embarrassing and distracting even to myself. I did this annoying behavior several times an hour today, driving myself batty.
3. I pull hair out of my scalp or eyelashes. Okay....you can get all disgusted and turn away from my freakishness on this one. Go Ahead....skip to number four. For those of you wanting to torture yourself, go ahead and check out this condition called, Trichotillomania. I have a mild form of this. NOT cool. Luckily, I have never created a bald spot on my head, but I am ashamed to admit that often I have sections missing on my eyelashes. :( Embarrassing, but it is something I struggle to keep under control while I am stressed. I'll be lucky to get through this stressful time with all of my eyelashes.
4. I talk....ummmmm even more than usual! Yup, I am a talker in general, but when I am under a great deal of stress, I NEED to talk about it. I NEED to work through my thoughts out loud, and I can't hardly control it. I drift from one person to the next talking....trying to either get the stress out, or to completely take my mind off the stress. I really feel for my friends and family when I am under stress....I NEVER shut up. I will be needing my friends and family very much, very soon.
So there you have it. My ugly side. My stressed out, fat, heavy breathing, bald eyelided, motor mouth self. Be glad you live far, far away from me right now. It isn't pretty! Oh the STRESS........
You know what? I'd love to not feel alone in all this....care to share what you do when stressed? Pretty please....with sugar on top? Consider it a favor to a girl on the verge....pass the doughnuts!
Monday, July 16, 2007
ARGH! The Slowness....Is KILLING Me!
I just can't take it any longer. The slowness in my life. I am a born multi-tasker. I simply can not just do one thing at a time. I must be doing 2-4 things. I MUST! If I am on the phone, I am also cleaning house. If I am watching TV, I am also crafting (knitting, crocheting, etc.), flipping through a catalog or magazine, or on the computer. If I am on the computer, I am doing at least 3 things at a time. I am always editing pictures, and usually on the Internet. I could be doing 3 things on the Internet alone. I HAVE to multi-task. I HAVE TO!
The slowness is killing me. I am currently venting about the computer thing. My computer has decided that having..oh say....100,000 pictures on it makes it extremely unhappy. So I am constantly in the process of backing up on CD, then putting them on an external hard drive. It is a long slow process when your computer is unhappy in the first place, but adding like 300 pics every other day makes it hard to keep up. Another great joy is that half the time my CD burner decides it is on vacation and won't work. ARGH. I purchased more RAM, and for awhile it really seemed to help, but lately, my computer is so slow that I could SCREAM! I find myself clicking from one thing to the next over and over and nothing is loaded up.
That brings us to the INTERNET! Apparently I live in the sticks. Some sort of annoying person or committee has decided that rural folks don't need high speed Internet. Ummm THANKS! I appreciate that. I have resisted getting DSL or Satellite Internet for quite some time as I suffer from a fear of spending. However, last week, I finally had enough of this slower then slow dial-up. I decided that if I reduced our cell phone plan, and cancelled the long distance on our land line I could re-allot that money towards higher Internet costs. I started making some calls, and geez freaking wiz...you'd think I lived in Antarctica. NO DSL offered in my area, and get this...all the satellites that serve my area are FULL! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How can this be?
So here I sit tonight...frustrated beyond compare, because I can't edit pics, play on my photo message board, and my baby board, and read blogs at the same time. WHY ME????? Is it a sign I should be cleaning house? Say it isn't so!
Okay, my totally aimless rant is over, and you can expect to find my usual chipper self back tomorrow. It feels better just having let it out.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Understanding and Forgiveness!
Something happened today that has me very disturbed. I have tried and tried to just let it go....but I have not been successful. Doing what I naturally do, I have analyzed and over analyzed why it bothers me so. In this process, I have come to realize just how much importance I put on things like understanding and forgiveness.
Hubby, Sugar Bear and I decided to take a short trip to the beach today. Hubby wanted to give Surf Perch fishing a try, and I knew how much Sugar would enjoy exploring the beach. When we got there, we were the only people there. Like most days at the beach, it was windy and cold, but the sun shining made it bearable. The Hubby proceeded to fish, and Sugar Bear and I played with Daisy, our black lab, for awhile. Sugar enjoyed throwing rocks at the ocean, and we spent some time digging in the sand.
After about an hour, we left Daisy with the hubby, and Sugar and I head back to the truck. When we reached the parking lot, there was one other vehicle in the parking lot. Two elderly men were chatting. I proceeded to begin changing Sugar Bear out of her sandy clothes. The elderly men started up their diesel truck and started to back out. I heard what sounded like a woman's voice yell something, so I looked up. About 20 yards from me, I saw a woman standing in the middle of the parking area holding up a 3 month oldish lab puppy, and half way between us, was what appeared to be Daisy. The men had stopped, and it sure looked to me like my dog had followed me up to the parking area, and was causing a little bit of trouble. I called to Daisy, and the dog came running to me. I yelled an apology to the men saying, "I am so sorry, I thought she was still with my husband." They waved to me and left. Daisy started running towards the beach again, so I yelled for her to come back, she stopped and looked at me. At this time the lady carrying the pup, was about 10 feet from me, and I swear the first thing out of her mouth was, "That's MY Dog! Jeez lady what is your problem?" I quickly looked at her and then the dog, and I said sort of chuckling, "oh...I'm sorry! She looks just like my dog..." The lady interrupted me angerly saying, "who the hell cares lady!" Again I stammer how sorry I am, and she just throws her hand up at me...and walks towards the beach with her dog and pup.
Okay, so this is where I just stood there with my mouth open. I had never been treated so rudely. I mean, I seriously thought it was my dog, and it looked like the lady was trying to keep her pup away from her. I was trying to do my job as a pet owner. How could this lady NOT understand this? Why was she so rude to me? I thought it was sort of funny. Did she think I was trying to steal her dog or something?????
I have to tell you that this encounter royally messed up my day. I have tried to understand that she must have been flustered. I have tried to understand that maybe she was having a bad day. It hasn't helped.
WHY AM I SO UPSET BY THIS???? I have to ask myself, "am I upset that she was rude to me, or is it more the fact that she was upset with me?" If I am honest, I realize it is the latter. It is really hard for me, that no matter what I said she didn't try to understand or forgive me for my mistake. It lingers in my mind, the look on her face when she said, "jeez lady!" She looked at me like I was the worst person in the world.....ME....Corey....the person who is always trying to be helpful and to think of others. She didn't see who I was...she saw a pain in her hiney....and didn't forgive me. Somewhere tonight, she is telling someone about this crazy lady who tried to steal her dog at the beach. UGH! Try as I might to believe that I don't really care what people think of me....it is painfully obvious that I do.
If you know me well, you will know that I always try to learn something from things like this. Today I learned that no matter what mood I am in, or what might be happening around me, I need to look up, listen, and try to understand. Understand and forgive. That lady has no idea how she affected me....how she sent my day askew. A simple, "oh....I see! No worries. All is fine now!" from her would have instead left me with a funny story to tell my friends about the day I almost stole a lady's dog at the beach!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
"Just a Cold!!!"
How many times have I heard those words? "Just a Cold!" It might mean one thing to some people, but to me....it means another person shaking their head at me.
"Hi, my name is Corey, and I avoid GERMS!" yes....a germophobe...or a germ freak, or a paranoid person. Yep, that is me!
I have always been a worrier....but not so much as I am now that I have Sugar Bear. I always want to protect her from everything. I do my best to be reasonable. Amazingly enough I do a pretty good job keeping Sugar Bear away from the Doctor's office.
It is my method that drives people nuts. I simply won't take my daughter anywhere when I know someone is sick. I have missed several family get togethers because of it. I know it upsets people, and they shake their head at me and say, "It is just a cold!"
"Just a cold" leads to this....
-Sugar Bear gets sick
-I miss work
-none of us sleep
-I get sick
-I miss work
-I don't sleep
-ugh......
so "just a cold"....really isn't "just", is it? I hate colds. I am a whiny sick person. We are sick right now...so yes...this is my way of whining. We had a great winter with possibly one illness....but this one caught us off guard. I don't even know where we got it.
So yes...."just a cold!" Shake your head at me....I don't care. I would give anything to NOT have this cold right now!
One good thing about me....I won't pass you my cold. I stay home. If I don't want yours.....I won't give you mine! Golden rule! tee hee
You can laugh now! "just a cold!".....Whatever!
