A look at Priorities

Something I have been thinking about for awhile now is how the events in our lives change our focus and our priorities. Why is it that when people talk about priorities….it somehow makes you feel defensive? Just because priorities change it doesn’t mean the old priorities were wrong. Maybe they just fit who you are at the time.

Before I had Sugar Bear, I was searching for something. I didn’t know it then, but it is plainly obvious to me now. My husband,is a commercial fisherman so he is gone a lot of the time. I spent 8 years alone in the evenings after work, and many weekends too. I filled up my time with lots of different hobbies, and activities. I learned to spend a great deal of time on the computer. I used to play Solitaire, Pyramids, Mahjong, and other online games. I surfed the net, perused eBay, and Instant Messaged or emailed with friends. My weekends, I filled up with shopping, scrapbooking, and stamping. I learned to knit, crochet, and locker hook. I certainly kept busy. I spent a ton of time with friends. I had a joyful life, and was blessed with loving friends. I cherish those times.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was thrilled. I had looked forward to being a mom for sooooooooooooooooooo long. It was a dream come true for me. This is what I was meant to do.

However, I was determined to still be ME.
-The ME that loved to talk with friends all day on the phone.
-The ME that stayed up late scrapbooking with friends, and eating junk food.
-The ME that loved to go on big shopping days with friends.
-The ME that would email friends and family several times a day.
I was sure that none of this would change, and that all I had to do was find a sitter for my daughter and go….be ME. I was sure that to be a good mom, I would NEED to continue to do these things. I was sure that nothing would change.

I WAS WRONG!!!!!!!!

Nearly two years into my adventures in parenting, I find a new ME.
-The ME that can’t wait to get off work, so I can get home to my girl.
-The ME that can’t wait for the weekend, so I can spend as much time as possible laughing and playing with my girl.
-The ME that enjoys spending my evenings after my girl goes to bed chatting on my online baby board with other mommies, or blogging about the great things we having been doing.
-The ME that has a hard time finding anything I NEED to buy for me anymore.
-The ME that doesn’t find the time to email much more than pictures of my girl to my friends and family.
-The ME that could spend all day just watching my girl, and capturing the memories with my camera.
Sure I still find myself crafting and trying new hobbies….but it always links back to Sugar Bear. I sew her clothes. I knit her a sweater. I create bows, and photo invites for all occasions. I find myself doing less and less with others. It truly isn’t that I don’t care for these relationships. I just don’t need to fill my heart anymore. It is so full. Sugar Bear, in every sense of the word COMPLETES ME! I no longer search. I have found what I was looking for….and I am living and loving every minute of it!