"Dear Children..." (repost)

In honor of the Group Writing Project over at MamaBlogga I have composed the following post. Thank you so much Jordan for the inspiration.

To My Dearest Daughter,

I write this letter, with the intent that someday it just might come in handy. Someday when you are in your teens and you think "the world is against you" or that "everyone hates you" or that I "just don't love you, and only serve to make your life a living HELL". I hope that these words I write now will help soften your heart, and give you a sense of truly belonging.

As I write this, your nearly 29 month old self is sound asleep in your crib for your afternoon nap. You are snuggled in with your THREE blankies, your baby elephant, and your pink "cow/pig", just as I placed you after a wonderful, peaceful moment of snuggle nursing in the glider rocker placed in your room. We both look forward to those moments. These days you climb up into my lap, giggle with glee as I tell you how much you are loved. Your response recently has been, "hank you mama! Hank you beary much!" It melts my heart, and blesses my soul.

During these quiet and close moments, I often found myself thinking of you and your future. I have worried that you will never really understand the depth of my love for you. This troubles me greatly. As an adult, I have doubted that my own mother ever loved me as I love you. It just can't be possible. I sit and look into your face and know that there is nothing in the world that I could have possibly done to deserve you. I pull you closer, and wonder how I'll ever let you go. How will I ever survive when you move out of my home?

I am beginning to realize that is a very good thing that as you age, you will begin to show your independence. You will strive to be separate from me. You will be ornery, and sassy, and put your foot down for what you believe. It is a darn good thing, because if it wasn't for your efforts to be an individual, you would always be an extension of me. As we are at this moment, we are very much one. The connection I feel with you is overwhelmingly fabulous. I am certain that if it were up to me, we would never part. The very thought of being physically distant from you makes my body ache. The notion that someday we might be emotionally disconnected is literally unfathomable.

I am sadly aware that as you read this, you may still doubt the breadth of my devotion. From the moment you were in my womb, my journey in life became yours. I have little purpose other than to help you become who you are meant to become. I am so very honored, Sugar Bear, to be your mother. No amount of angry words, or frustrations will ever diminish that devotion. Your happiness and success are my mission in life. I am your biggest fan, and that will NEVER change. Please be patient with dear old mom. She is emotionally messy just imagining a future where you care more about what your friends think than what I think. I may not always be exactly on the same page as you....but honey, I started this book for you, and I'd love to help you make it a best seller.

Now I must go stand at the edge of your crib, and admire your peacefulness, your beauty, your amazing sense of wonderment. Thank you, my daughter for being you.....NOW and ALWAYS!

Bushel and a peck,
Mama

This was originally posted on May 29, 2007.