Sunday, September 7, 2008

To Fly....or Not to Fly....That is the Question!

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Right around nine months ago, the Hubby made a decision to start learning to fly. For as long as I have known him (18+ years) he has talked of wanting to try out his wings. Mostly, I thought he was all talk, and it really wouldn't be something he actually tackled. I already worry about him on LAND (4-wheelers, Jeeping, etc.) and at SEA (He is a commercial fisherman), and I wasn't too excited to add AIR to the mix.

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Being that the Hubby has taken a fairly extended break from work in the last year, he decided that now was the time. He began flying lessons, and was thrilled to be actually taking off and flying his first day. He came home ecstatic, and spouting off about how great it was going to be to take me and Sugar Bear up flying.

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This is where things when SOUTH. I quickly and without hesitation informed him that neither Sugar or I would be flying with him. Don't get me wrong...it isn't HIM, it is those little planes. I'm not sure if you have noticed or not...but then those planes go down....it isn't pretty. Literally in the 9 months he has been flying, there have been over 6 crashes in our neck of the woods, and all have ending in death. I refuse to be the "Family of three dies in plane crash" story on the front page of the paper.

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Needless to say, this hasn't set well with the Hubby. He thinks I am being unreasonable, and that I am letting fear rule my life. I feel that I am being cautious and not taking un-necessary risks. I did some research, and discovered that being in little planes piloted by private pilots is about 16 times more dangerous than riding in a car. Hubby doesn't feel this is significant. He reasons that if I drive to work everyday, then only fly once every few months or so....the risk would be the same. I reason, that I HAVE to drive to work, but I don't HAVE to fly, so it is reckless to do so.

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Am I crazy? I just can't bare the thought of Sugar Bear losing her family, or my losing her. I can not control the Hubby's flying, as it is he desire to do so, and I don't want to hold him back. I can, however decide not to out myself or Sugar in the plane along side him.

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I am very proud of his accomplishments. In fact, he recently took his first solo flight. Man oh man....was I a worried mess. I am thrilled for him....yet worried for his safety. Sigh....

30 Live It or Love It:

Heffalump said...

I think I would be the same way.
I'm not a flying person.

Gayle said...

Okay...so part of me wants to tell you to stop being so crazy. Get over it! Flying is great! I grew up in a small plane. My dad would fly me to Northway (60 road miles) to play a softball game. He flew me to Delta (100 road miles) to the dentist. It Alaska bush pilots are common. My husband had a plane before I met him. On the other hand, go to http://www.nierecovery.com/ and read about a young Arizona couple who crashed a small plane. She has 80% burns, he has 30% burns and they have four small children whom their sister is raising while they are in the hospital waiting to recover....or die. It's a tough one. Go with your gut on this one.

Beth Ellen said...

I would not go up in a small plane with my daughter either!

CrazyCath said...

I am torn on this one. Half of me says you cannot wrap them in cotton wool. Life is for living. Statistics suck etc.

The other half of me (the mum in me) is right there beside you scolding him for being so wreckless and thoughtless as to risk leaving his family.

I think in reality, once he was experienced (ie many hours experience - into 3 figures) then I would go out with him. Only occasionally, on good days. And not yet.

Jeanette said...

Congrats to your hubby, that's such an achievement!
And a very expensive hobby ;)

bellevelma said...

Corey,

My husband started taking flying lessons many years ago. It was something he always wanted to do. But then JFK Jr. crashed and died. And our son was born. I told my husband in no uncertain terms that his flying days were over. He had a family to take care of and I wouldn't stand for it due to the risks, and due to the time it would take him away from us.

Plus, he couldn't afford the flying lessons AND the extra life insurance I insisted he purchase if he continued against my wishes ;)

Thankfully, my husband, while not ecstatic over the loss of this desire to fly, agreed with me that his family, and my sanity, was more important than flying a plane could ever be.

I understand not wanting to hold someone back, but I also think flying those little planes is extremely dangerous and not worth the risk or worth the fear and worry the pilot causes the family they leave on the ground each time they take off.

Hugs to you!

Laura said...

I'd be right there with you, Corey! Planes freak me out in general, and I wouldn't feel comfortable having my kids in that situation either. I think it's great that your hubby is pursuing a dream, though! Maybe 10 years down the road...after he's done a LOT of flying...and maybe with a co-pilot along too...hmmm...

Lindy said...

I want to say that whatever will be will be as long as he is taking all the necessary precautions he should (key word is should) be fine. My mother didn't let me do sooo many things because of her fears- she succeeded in making me afraid of sooo many things. I'm raising Squidge to have fun, be free and take risks. I don't ever want her to stand on the side line wanting so badly to do something but being terrified of doing it. It's not easy and I TOTALLY understand your fears.

Autumn said...

Awesome! Congrats to him on his accomplishment! I distinctly remember my dad flying over my house when I was little. I never ever flew with him though.
I think it's a good compromise, he gets to pursue his dream and you get to keep your and Sugars feet firmly planted on the ground. I'm sure that he wants to share this new adventure with his family, that's only natural. But I agree with your stance 100%.

Childlife said...

I think I'm with you on this one, Corey -- the view from your lens would suit me just fine ;)

(Love your comment, "I refuse to be the "Family of three dies in plane crash" story on the front page of the paper." :D )

I also think you're doing a lovely job of balancing -- supporting your hubby and giving him space to follow his interests, and protecting your family to the best of your ability. A tricky feat, but well done you!

fairytalesandmargaritas said...

You're not crazy. I wouldn't do it either. Those plans are way to unreliable. I just read a blog of a woman whose huband learned to fly and took her up on his first flight. They crashed. The teacher died, and the woman and her husband have severe burns over the majority of their bodies. And they have four small children. Why take that risk if you don't have to?

Darth Pastor said...

I think I'd rather die with my wife than one of us die apart from the other. But I'd also like to live with my wife together than apart as well.

So if you're together, and flying, you're living, if you die, you're ok as well, cause you're together.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Corey I would be exactly the same as you. Why take a risk if you don't have to?? What hubby is doing is pretty cool though, What a star.

AnnD said...

Crazy?? Um, no. Well, would like to think not since my opinion is the same as yours! I'm terrified of flying and would have made the same decision you did.

DFTF said...

My husband has always wanted to fly too, but I share your fear of those little airplanes. I'm not sure how I'd feel if he decided to actually start flying them. He did jump out of a plane once, though. We didn't have kids yet, and he said once was enough for that.

Christina said...

I can understand your fears. I would be afraid of it, too, and feel like it's just not worth the risk. At the same time, tho...it would be SO COOL! That's a tough one. My husband has expressed an interest in learning to fly, too, and I secretly hope it never happens!

Veggie Mom said...

Good for the Hubby, and good for you, too! I'm in your camp when it comes to flying around in those tiny little planes. Although your photos, as always, are wonderful...

MGF said...

Even though you are certain to not join him in the air, it is nice that you are proud of his accomplishments. I think that is wonderful to hear in a marriage.
Besides you were still able to get such great shots without having to look DOWN.

Rachel said...

Corey,

there's that part that wants to say; "Quit being silly, get in there and have fun with your husband"

Then there's the parent in me, that knows the fear you speak of, whose heart leaps at the sight of those little planes.

It's fabulous for your husband, but after just having written a post for NIE, I'd be against both parents in one small plane.

Sorry, I'm so not a help.

Tabitha Blue said...

Wow, that is a really tough one. No one can really decide that but you.... I'm not even sure what I'd do.

Although I will say congrats to him, because there is actually part of me that's wanted to learn to fly a plane for a long time. It's like driving though... you always feel safer when you're in the driver's seat, because you know what's going on. It would be hard for me to ride (fly) with someone who wasn't a pro.

Mama Zen said...

I despise flying. Despise it, and I refuse to do it unless I have no choice.

tommie said...

Going up with my a friend of mine was one of the most freeing things I have ever done. Granted it was before I had kids....so not sure how I would handle it now!

PS, I have something for you at my blog! Happy Tuesday.

Michelle said...

oh what a tough spot this is to be in! On the one hand he is so ecstatic to have accomplished a dream of his and wants to share it with his wife and child...but on the other hand...yeah those little planes freak me out too. I don't really know what I would do in that situation; knowing that Joe really wanted to share this with Kayla, but I don't know if I could overcome my fear of those small planes. Ugh!

Nap Warden said...

You are not crazy...I feel exactly the same way. No way, no how would Husband get any of my babies in one of those. Stick to your guns on this one.

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

I actually learned to fly about 20 years ago - I was 17. I loved it, but had to quit because it was so expensive - and never did get back into it. I didn't have a family at the time though - I'm not sure I would feel comfortable with my kids up in a small plane now either. I think you have every right to make that decision for yourself and Sugar - and hopefully your hubby will understand.

Lis Garrett said...

I'm with you on this one, Corey! I can barely tolerate flying in the BIG planes, much less on one of those dinky ones . . .

holly said...

you are off your rocker. totally, you should get up in that plane and do the standing-on-the-top bit. really, how else are you going to conquer that fear?

also, you should totally follow him off a cliff if he asks.

i hear putting your hand on a burner can be fun!

(chick. i didn't even like riding the elevator some days with queen of hearts!)

ispeakbeanish said...

I don't know what I would do if I were you. I think part of that is my not being nervous about flying. I think you have to just trust your gut.

I will say that a friend of ours took us on a plane ride when I was little...maybe about 4 or 5 years old. I still remember that and how magical it was to me.

david mcmahon said...

Just think of all the pictures you could get from that cockpit ....

secretagentmama said...

How did I miss this post, Corey?

*sigh* I don't know. You gotta do what feels right.

I would, however, fly daily with Michael. It's his passion (and now his career) and I have complete faith in his abilities. You can't ever prevent failure of the airplane and you can "what if" it till you are blue in the face. But when it all boils down it comes down the gut feeling. Ya know?

Either way, congrats to your husband. It's a great achievement!

P.S. I answered your question in my post.

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