Rockin Blogger Girl

Opinion mom awarded me with the much coveted "rockin girl blogger" award. :) I have to say that I am a little more touched by this gesture than I should be. :) I came upon her blog when she posted this entry in Mamablogga's July Group Writing Project. It is a lovely tribute to her mother.

According the the "rocking girl blogger" award rules I need to bestow this honor on those I deem worthy. tee hee....However, most of my blogging friends have already been honored, especially since my dear friend Laura was so lovely to pass her love on to us all. I do, infact, have a few women I started a buddy relationship with through blogging, that I'd like to acknowledge. I am trying to spread the love to those who haven't received it yet (or they don't have the award posted on their blog). It is hard. This award has really made it's rounds! :)

1. Heidi at Everyday cookies. Actually she is my neighbor, so she is the one exception to this list. I love love love heidi. She is a sweet, caring person, and is always so supportive of me. Her blog is full of wonderful craft ideas and pictures. Check it out! :)

2. Pam at KidsKitchen. I'm not certain how she found my blog, but she has been so kind to hang around a bit since. Now that I think back on it...it might have been the Carnival I participated in. I love checking out her blog also. She is a very positive, up-beat mama. Recently she has taken on the world of a "farmer's market"! Check it out!

3. Mommyknows is so rockin. She has been giving away FREE stuff for over two months now. I won an awesome Muddybuddy suit. I am so excited to have Makenna try it out, but I got it in a 4T so Kenna can use it when she grows into it. :) You just have to check out her blog and enter to win. :)

4. The Stretch Mark Mama I just recently "met" this wonderful blogger when I won a drawing during The Dog Days of Summer. I love visiting her blog. This post cracks me up! You really need to check her out!

5. Lulu over at Tulips Grow Everywhere. This young woman amazes me. She is an incredible photographer who inspires me to follow my heart and take pictures that mean something to me. I admire her photo style and her fun personality. You just HAVE to check her out! :)

Soul Searching At The Playground.

Our mission this summer has been to visit as many playground parks as possible. I wanted Sugar Bear to experience them all, so that we could find a favorite. It has been fun. Oddly enough, along the way, I have learned a great deal about myself. I certainly didn't expect to spend so much time analyzing my "mama bear instincts".


I have come to realize that I have many hang ups regarding taking my daughter out into the world, and letting her socialize with strangers. I have a few social issues myself, but I suppose I didn't think I would carry them over in this way. I worry that I will somehow impose my own fears onto her, so I find myself really having to stand back and observe.


Personally, I am not a "meeter". I don't like meeting new people all that much, and I certainly don't do it on my own accord. Once I get to know someone, I am considerably social, but if it were up to me, I am not sure I'd seek out new friends. I am not all that certain where this comes from, or exactly when it began. I don't recall being this way as a child, nor young adult. It is no secret that I am a homebody these days, but when exactly did I become so uneasy with putting myself out there?


By far, the most nerve racking part of accompanying my daughter to a playground is watching her put herself out there to other children. I am like a nervous mother hen. I hoover, and wring my hands, and worry that she will be rejected. Watching her ease up to another child and say, "HI! I'm Sugar Bear (okay...so she actually uses her real name)!" for the first time literally made me nauseous. My thoughts raced. Please let the child acknowledge her....please let the child be nice to her....please let her feel confident and happy with this meeting! The anxiety I felt was overwhelming. I had to resist the urge to run to her, hear every word, and assure her if she was not accepted. Indeed that first time she was ignored....she was not successful, and it broke my heart. She looked confused as the child just skipped away without saying a word. I bit my nails as she turned to me. Amazingly enough she said, "I talk to a friend mama!" and happily ran off to go slide. Could it be, that just simply having the courage to just introduce herself was victory enough?



As the summer progressed, she continued to try to interact with these strange children, and I have continued to stand in angst. Some children have smiled, some have spoke back kindly proceeding to play with her. Some however, have been mean. OH MY....how does a mother deal with this? The three year old girl, who won't let my daughter go up the ladder. The four year old boy that runs around calling her a "BABY". The Spanish speaking child who sticks her tongue out and yells, "bawlk, bawlk, bawlk!" at her (yes...I do believe she was pretending to be a chicken....but I am not certain, nor was Sugar Bear). What does a mother do? What lesson is to be learned? Sugar Bear usually looks at them with confusion, but doesn't slink away. She stands her ground and just watches them. I fight the urge...I stand there arguing with myself to go or not to go...to help or not to help.....it is so troubling. Unless things get physical, I try to very hard to let her deal with it at the time, then as we travel home, I ask her about her play. I mention the child that was unkind, and feel her out. Surprisingly, Sugar is rarely worried about these incidents. If only mommy could relax.....our time at the park would be more enjoyable.



It is a constant battle in my mind as we drive to a playground park. Half of me hopes no one will be there, so that we have it all to ourselves. I enjoy not having to stress over what the other children are doing and saying to my girl. The other half of me hopes other children will be there, so that my girl has someone to play with. It is undeniable that she enjoys herself so much more when there is another child to play with. At her age, this play consists of "follow me" or "I'll follow you", but none the less, she loves it. Isn't that the point...for Sugar Bear to have fun? Why do I set myself up for so much anxiety? Not one time, has she been upset by another child. Not once has she been emotionally damaged by another child. Why then, do I get so worked up? It is clearly my issue, but am I the only one? Am I the only mother who struggles to maintain her sanity as her child puts them self out there to be accepted? Will this get easier or harder as she grows?


Regardless of my inner turmoil, Sugar Bear has had a wonderful summer so far. I am not sure we have found a favorite playground, but we have ruled out several due to safety issues. These pictures are actually from mid-April, at a county park. This particular day was possibly the second time she introduced herself to another child. This little girl wanted none of her, but Sugar was persistent, and just followed her around. Her mother said her name was Abby, so Sugar Bear just trailed along saying, "Happy....what you doing happy?" I had to tell her 400 times that her name was Abby, but she kept right on saying "Happy". They may have not played together exactly, but there were a few moments of interaction, and it was those moments that meant the world to her. She spoke of her new friend for weeks. I suppose that is what it is all about, right?


Who knows what was said in the moment I snapped that picture...but I think it is priceless! :)

Four For Friday!

For this installment of Four For Friday, I decided to go in a different direction. Since I am starting to feel a TAD old these days, I decided that I wanted to do some reminiscing. This past June marked my 15th (gulp) year since graduating High School. OH MY....did I say 15? Yes, I am afraid I did. Seriously, it doesn't nearly feel half that long ago I was a carefree and fun loving high schooler. sigh....those were the days.
Anyhow, this week I'd like to focus on four movies that were released in 1992, the year I graduated. Being that I lived in a tiny little town with no movie theater, it wasn't too often that I went to see movies in the theater. Mostly I saw these on video with my hubby, well, boyfriend back then. tee hee

1. Drama-A Few Good Men, Starring, Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and Jack Nicholson. Hubby and I saw this in the theater. I love, love, loved this movie. It really held my attention. It was back in the day when Tom Cruise was normal, and who doesn't love Mr. Nicholson. What an actor. It wouldn't be surprising to hear me say, "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!" at a totally random moment. Loved that line.

2. Romance-The Bodyguard, starring Whitney Houston, and Kevin Costner. I actually saw this the fall of my Freshman year in college. I went with my three new college friends, and we all bawled like freakin babies. I loved the soundtrack, and purchased it. I proceeded to learn the entire theme song, "I will always love you", in sign language so that I could help my hearing impaired roommate "hear" the song.

3. Comedy-My cousin Vinny, starring Joe Pesci, Ralph Macchio, and Marisa Tomei. Hubby and I saw this on video, and I have probably seen it like 10 times since. I really enjoy this film. Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei are priceless in this movie. PRICELESS! LOVE IT! Lots of laughs.

4. Horror-Candyman, starring Virginia Madsen, Tony Todd, Xander Berkeley, Kasi Lemmons, and Vanessa A. Williams. Okay seriously folks, this movie messed me up. My hubby sure liked to make me watch freaky movies. I would go home all wigged out, and lay in my bed frightened to death. EEEKKKK!!! This one is a doosie in my book. I was so freaked about mirrors for a long, long, long time.

Well, there you have it. Four random movies from 1992. Go ahead and give me a little thrill, and let me know what you think of these movies, if you have seen them. Oh, and let me know when and where you viewed them. Thanks!

Totally Random

Mama Zen tagged me with the "eight random things about me" MEME. Being the sort of person that hates to disappoint, I will happily oblige. :)

1. I started this list by typing the numbers 1-8 down the side first. Who knows why I needed to do it that way, but I felt so compelled. I suppose I need a guide to make sure I don't miss my mark or something. If you know much about me, you'll figure I'd easily list more than eight since I can't SHUT UP!

2. Two days ago, I told myself that I was DEFINITELY going to get serious about watching what I eat. Today....I watched ice cream go in my body....TWICE!

3. I love to sniff my daughters hair, blanket and clothes. I find myself habitually smelling these things all the time. When she is away at Grandpa and Grandma's house, I sleep with one of her blankets.

4. I only drink two sorts of beverages: water and milk. My main source of fluid is water. I don't always get the recommended amount each day, but I try. I drink at least 8 ozs of skim milk a day also.

5. I find myself turning the TV to Noggin, Disney or Nick JR. even when my daughter isn't home. I miss The Backyardagins if I don't see them at least once a week. tee hee

6. I used to think that I REQUIRED at least 10 hours of sleep to fully function. Who knew that I exist pretty well on 6? However.....I have mommy brain most of the....what?...what was I talking about?

7. I hate to admit it, but I have probably seen every episode of South Park ever made, including the movies. ugh....Hubby loves it, so I have suffered through.

8. I am starting to think that I shouldn't buy anything made in China. However, I am not sure it is possible. Have you noticed that EVERYTHING comes form China?

If you are reading this and want to play along....Go For It! :)