You tell me?
I have over 12 great post ideas swimming around in my head, and because I have Momnesia, I have each of them started in draft form. Even though I have a great idea one minute....I am certainly able to lose it the next. Forgetful I am. There is no question about that.
If you know me in real life, you may giggle at my next statement...no wait....you might actually fall off your chair laughing your hiney off, but stick with me, I'll try to explain. I AM A PERFECTIONIST! Yes I know....calm down......it isn't THAT funny....really. STOP! I am .....I really am a perfectionist. You see, in nearly all areas of my life, I have great desire to excel. I have grand ideas of how things should be done. I have certain methods I feel need to be followed to get these things done. I want all things to be perfect. HOWEVER, I don't have time to actually do these things in the way I want them done, so..........they never get done.
Yes! You read it right.....they never get done. I sit in piles of clutter, next to books never started, craft projects waiting to be tackled, and apparently blog posts just dying to be written. These things sit there....and I do nothing. Why......why don't these things get done....because I don't have the time to do them "right", so they don't get done at all. UGH....this is driving me nuts. Unless I have the proper time to devote to something....I just don't do it at all.
I know I am not alone in this affliction. It can be infuriating. I have wanted to remodel areas of my house, but I have yet to do a single thing, as the task overwhelms me with what needs to be done. I can't just do it by bits and pieces because that wouldn't be "right". So not one room has been touched....in 11 years. sigh......what is wrong with me?
I drive my friends CRAZY with my scrap booking perfectionism. I MUST do it in an organized fashion that will ensure that nothing gets out of order or forgotten. To be completely and totally prepared to scrapbook, it takes hours of organization of photos, supplies, searching for sayings and quotes, and so on. Because of THIS....I rarely am prepared to actually scrapbook with my friends, because I haven't had the time to do the prep work. So....nothing gets done.
I could bore you will all the PROOF of my illness, but I am still sick with a sinus infection....and my mind is in a fog. I had high hopes of getting some of my pending blog posts written this week, since I am off work, but this sinus infection makes me feel like my head is swimming. I have trouble gathering my thoughts. These posts, I have planned, are extremely important posts. They are some pretty intense topics that are near and dear to my heart.....so....YUP.....they will sit there, until I have the time to really devote to them. Sometimes looking at the ever increasing list of post ideas makes me feel so hopeful.....and other times.....like tonight....I feel hopeless. Will I ever get to these important posts, or will my crazy need to make them perfect hold me back from ever writing them at all? They aren't helping anyone sitting in my draft box, now are they? Even if I posted something half as perfect as I imagined, it might bless someones heart, spark some interest, or move them to action.
Sigh......hopeful or hopeless? What do you think?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
You tell me?