Sunday, March 9, 2008

Looking At Me





It will come as no surprise that I am the photographer in the family. tee hee
My camera is permanently attached to my hand, and my face is nearly adhered to the viewfinder. Everywhere we go, I am clicking away. It is extremely rare for a lens to be turned on me. In fact, I am fairly certain the last photo taken of me was nearly a month ago...and that one was just a joke. Before that....ummmm....I am not even sure. I don't think there is even a photo of me at Christmas time....or for Sugar's Birthday. (awwww yes....the one taking in early December....in my slideshow over there to the right)



I am not a fan of having photos taken of me. Like many folks, I tend to get self-conscience. Until recently, the lack of photos of myself didn't bother me. Lately, I started thinking about how much my Sugar would cherish photos of her mama through the years. I can not deny the fact that I am aging....and changing....and it really should be documented. If I keep waiting until my double chin is gone, and I get a haircut....it will never happen. I may not love exactly how I look these days, but....it is ME, and that is who my Sugar loves and adores. She will want to remember me as I was, not as I wanted to be.



So...today....I bit the bullet and took some self portraits. It was a challenge. I practiced using my new Remote Shutter Release. It is harder than it looks making sure it is hidden. Getting a genuine smile was hard for me at first, until I started thinking about funny things my Sugar has done recently. Then the "real" smiles showed up. Can you tell when I am faking it? tee hee



Funny story about these photos. You'd think since I knew I was taking them....specifically to get some decent photos of myself to share with the Internets, and for Sugar to cherish for years to come, I might have remembered to brush my teeth and apply a bit of make-up. NOPE not this Momnesiac! I just threw on a sweatshirt, and pulled my hair out of the bun I wear it in 85% of the time. It wasn't until three quarters of the way through, when I decided to try some full body shots that I changed out of my penguin pajama bottoms. It wasn't until I was uploading the photos onto my computer that I thought, "gee...some lip gloss or something might have been nice!"



But....then.....as I was preparing them for uploading to the Internet, I realized these photos were certainly adequate. They are ME....really really ME! I don't wear make-up, and my hair is never really styled, and I can usually care less what I am wearing. So...in the future, when these are viewed but my darling Sugar, she will recognize this woman....the woman who let all things vain fall to the wayside as she nurtured her. The woman who gets half way to work and realizes she is still in her slippers. The woman who spent a good 10 minutes making sure Sugar's pig tails were even, but forgot to even brush her own hair before leaving the house. Yes....this is ME.



The laugh lines.....the crows feet....the drooping eyelids...the age spots.....the beginnings of spider veins....the yellowing of the teeth....the double chin...this is ME, and she loves ME. LIFE IS GOOD!



This is who I am right NOW....there is no looking BACK!

40 Live It or Love It:

Jenny-up the hill said...

Oh Corey! You're photos are absolutely beautiful...and I only wish I looked as great as you do in all your "momnesiacness"!lol!! It is really important that we take photos of ourselves...you might have inspired me...I'm not making a commitment yet though! lol!!

ellen said...

Love to visit ur blog always..
give my kiss to ur cutie girl..
have a great week ahead..

Michele (Rocky Mtn.Girl) said...

You are indeed an incredible and beautiful person and these photos definitely show it! You have a terrific smile that definitely lights up this blog and I encourage you to continue showing the "real you"... it's very nice and there's definitely nothing wrong with it!

Megan (FriedOkra) said...

Oh I really loved that Corey. You so rarely let us catch a glimpse of your pretty self and your lovely, happy, pure smile - it was a total treat to click on your blog and be greeted with such a happy surprise. I love your thoughts on pictures of YOU for Sugar. She really will treasure them. And best of all, I love seeing how much she looks like you! Spittin' image! Thanks so much for posting these... I feel all smiley now myself.

tommie said...

It is hard to get in front of the camera. You did an amazing job of capturing 'you'!

Jenty said...

You are beautiful!! And I'm sorry, there are no drooping eyelids in any of these photos, and as for double chin, I haven't seen one!!

Hanlie said...

What a beautiful post! And your pictures are so wonderfully honest and "real". You look great!

So many times I've heard women say that their mothers were never in pictures of any outings or family events and that it makes them feel as if their mothers were absent from those events... So be sure to hand the camera over to others from time to time and let Sugar have pics doing something fun with mom!

holly said...

very very wise words.

i gave qoh a disposable camera a while back, and it is really weird to see myself through her view-finder. i look a whole heck of a lot more like a mom. "aach! who's that!"
"that's you mom."
"no, that's some horrible woman squinting at something."
"yeah, you."

ugh.

Terry said...

Corey, You never cease to amaze me with your wisdom. I love your hair, btw. I may even try to take a few photos of myself since you have inspired me. I will have to check my manual on how to do the self timer...tee hee.

Your smile is GREAT! Sugar Bear is very lucky.

sarandipity9702 said...

Corey! You look beautiful! What a wonderful idea to take some pics of yourself for Sugar. I know that I wish I had more pictures of my mom when I was growing up.

thingsyoudidntdo said...

Like most women (including me!! LOL) you are far too critical of yourself! The photos are beautiful because you are beautiful! Your curly hair is wonderful, your eyes sparkle and as soon as I saw the picture I knew you were Sugar's mama because you have the same shape to your face. I too am often behind the lens. You have inspired me to try out my new remote a bit more this week for my 365 Challenge!

Thanks for charing your photo session!

Laura said...

Beautiful, Corey! And as always, your wise words add even more beauty to this post.

Driving With the Brakes On said...

Corey - those photographs are beautiful! Like you, I am guilty of always being behind the lens . . . I think the last shot of me was taken the day Maren was born! I like the 'real' look - my kids don't care if I fix my hair or put make-up on - as long as I look like 'Mommy'! Terrific post!

jennwa said...

Those are great pictures of you. You have beautiful hair.
I do not like getting my picture taken either. But you are right, hopefully my pictures will be cherished by my children, so I better get some taken.

John-Michael said...

Enchanted! Simply Enchanted! You stopped me still with the marvel of the "Who-You-Are" that I had already discovered through your words ... and now see portrayed in ... spoken through these extraordinary images.

Corey, you radiate gentle, caring, intelligent, comfortable beauty in each photo. I am, quite simply, smitten.

Groovy Mom said...

You're absolutely gorgeous! I would have known you were Sugar's mommy even if you hadn't told us who was in the portraits. You two look very alike. You're right. She'll cherish these photos one day. I love looking at pictures of my parents taken when I was a little girl.

Summer said...

Double chin nothin'! You seriously don't have one.
Loved the pictures. You're beautiful.

laura said...

Thanks for dropping by my site the other day. :)

These are totally beautiful pics of you, adorable! The last time I was subject of a photoshoot was four years ago before I was married! :P I'm one of nine kids, we all love taking pictures so everyone was pretty even on showing up in pictures.
Have a good day!

Childlife said...

Don't even think about changing a thing - you're the perfect you! :)

Nice to see the girl behind the camera for a change! :)

Mary Ann said...

Love it Corey! Love it, love it, love it! Why is it that we are our worst critics? You look wonderful! I know what you mean though. I take the pictures too and often have to remind myself to ask Nathan to take the camera every once in awhile and take a few pictures of me with the kids and stuff. Like you, I want them to have pictures of me to look back on later in life...with all of my imperfections too.

beth said...

As always, wise words. I am also rarely in our family photos. My four year old is now taking an interest in the camera though, so I am seeing some interesting shots of the "real me".

suzy2110 said...

You look so pretty, Corey- and so like Sugar- your words as always are so wise!

JC said...

Fantastic post! I can't find any fake smiles or fake anything else... well done!!

Julie said...

So nice to see you, Corey! You're right, taking self-portraits is difficult! You captured some great images!

Jenn said...

You are beautiful! I started the 365days project to get myself more comfortable in front of the camera. For the same reason you mentioned - my kids will want to remember me at the age I am now. I know I wish I had more photos of my mom from when I was growing up.

CMB said...

You, my blogger friend, are beautiful. I love that you posted some photos od yourself, but I love even more WHY you did it. I have noticed that since Ava was born, there are barely any photos of myself. I know part of the reason is that I too am the photographer...but the other reason is like you stated...I am not real fond of how I look at the moment. You have inspired me to say 'oh well, this is me'. Thank you - Thank you!

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

You are gorgeous and vibrant - and have the most beautiful hair! :)

It's so good to see the Mama behind the camera and the person that Sugar's smiling so brightly at in her photos... Thanks for sharing those!

Ribbon Rock Star said...

It's great to see YOU!!

Linda

Keara said...

Such a pretty Mama!

Autumn said...

Oh so many things to say.. here I'll number them.. lol
1. You are beautiful, always have been and I know you always will be.
2. You do not have a double chin.. silly girl.
3. I love the reason you took these pictures....I hadn't even thought of that.. now I need to take some of myself for Bug.
4. You CRACK me up.. gee maybe I should put some pants on. LOL

Ok so only four .. but the numbering helped me, my momnisia could have hit and I would have said the same thing twice had I not used it.. but I digress..

Jo Beaufoix said...

Corey, you are beautiful. You're smile is gorgeous, your eyes are twinkly, your lips are kissable and your hair is amazing. Love you loads sweetie.

secret agent mama said...

LOVE. IT. Love love love it!!

Corey, you are beautiful --inside and out!

Mary Kate said...

What great photos!! You are beautiful!
And you have inspired me to take some pictures of myself. I love that Becca loves me for me and doesn't care if I am showered or wearing matching clothes :)

Beth Ellen said...

Wonderful shots. It is funny as I tend to avoid camera shots myself. I am not so brave as you. ;)

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

GORGEOUS. Great shots. Great idea. Love you!

Nap Warden said...

Corey, I love this post! You are one of my favorite blogs to visit:)

Michelle said...

I'm so glad you shared these photos of yourself- it's nice to put a face w/a name :) I think Sugar looks so much like you! (of course I haven't seen her dad, but just from these pictures she is definitley your daughter!) You look great for not "doing" anything to yourself! LOL You can see how relaxed you became as the photo shoot went on. And what a wonderful message about these photos being YOU and that is who Sugar sees and loves!

Don Mills Diva said...

You look so beautiful and joyful - these photos are wonderful. I definitely see who Sugar Bear resembles!

Lis Garrett said...

So nice to see what you REALLY look like!! You have such a natural beauty - there is nothing fake about you whatsoever, and I love that!!

PS - Now I know where Sugar gets ALL THAT HAIR!

Misty Dawn said...

You are absolutely gorgeous! Both your physical AND inner beauty shine through in all of these photos!

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