Thursday, March 3, 2011

The hubby (repost)

*******REPOST ALERT! YES, AGAIN! Hey...I'm in Disneyland...you can't expect me to be blogging, now can you? Just imagine me skipping along holding hands with Mickey right about now!
This REPOST is for Kimberly, and Jen, in particular, but many of you folks newer to my blog might find it interesting as well. Back in Januaryu of this year, I asked my readers for a little inspiration, and I've been trying to answer some of thier questions. Today's repost is an effort to point folks in the right direction for answers about The Hubby. True...I wrote it in 2009, but everything is still correct, and not a lot has changed. If after reading all this, you have more specific questions....just leave them in comments. I'm a pretty open person, as you'll see, and you can ask, and I may or may not answer, but I'll certainly not judge you for asking. We are curious folks...I get that. ENJOY! *****
Yeah, back in January, I posted my 500th post, and asked my readers to inundate me with questions. A few of you, took me up on that, and have been so patient in waiting for the answers (As long as you don't count that one death threat, and the burning pile of dog poo I found in the porch the other day.) I did managed to cover some of the random questions HERE, a version of my perfect day HERE, and got a bit wordy HERE about the photography queries.
So BACK OFF!

As much as I'd like to continue to procrastinate doing the tougher questions, I simply can not deny that I actually have the time today to tackle all the questions about The Hubby today. It is Spring Break, The Sugar is at preschool today, The Hubby is working, and it isn't late at night, and my brain is actually functioning. Sounds like a perfect combination to knock this puppy out. So here goes.....

In an effort to not have to rehash the whole story, if you haven't been along for this whole "Living and Loving" ride, please head over here and read a bit about the foundation. Due to his desire for privacy, I rarely write about him. I did, however, give in and open a bit up about him here. Please check those two posts out before moving on. I'll wait. In fact, I'll take this time to go eat a cinnamon roll. It is lonely, and has been calling me name. I'm just gonna eat it to shut it up. K?

Okay...so I take it we're all back, and completely up on the saga of my life. I'll wipe the frosting off my fingers, and get to it.

I know, I briefly mentioned that The Hubby and I have been together since the beginning of time High School, but Aspiemom wondered where I met him. I wish I remember the very first time we saw each other, but I hardly remember what I had for lunch yesterday, so it is a little much to expect from my feeble mind. I do know, that I am a third generation graduate of my High School, and I started attending that School District my 2nd grade year. The Hubby, however, moved to my hometown sometime during his Junior Year, which was my Freshman Year. While I don't recall the exact day I met him, I do have some early memories of him. He remembers seeing me on the school bus, and I remember drooling over his lifted, red and white 1979 Ford pick-up. It really stood out in our small town. No one else had anything like it. Remember, that he already worked for his dad in Commercial Fishing, so he had more money than the rest of us lazy teenagers.

The Hubby and my brother were in the same class, and became friends. It wasn't until the following year, that we started spending time together. Soon we were dating. It was my first real relationship. In fact, by the fall of my Junior Year, I was completely and utterly FREAKED out to be so serious. Doing what any crazy teenage girl would do. I broke up with him. It was awful, and broke both our hearts. For nearly a year, we remained apart, and unhappy. The Summer of my Senior Year, we got back together....and the rest....is history. We dated for 5 years, then got married, after I finished College. We will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary this July. Man.....time flies.

That brings us to present day. Jo Beaufoix asked me if The Hubby ever poses for photos for me. The answer is a pretty big NO. As you read in that second post I linked to about hubby (what you didn't read it????? SHAME ON YOU!), the only time he easily allows me to take photos is when he with with a dead animal. I'm sorry to say, I can't stomach it, and do not try to take a nice portrait. I just simply point and shoot. All the other photos I have of him, are ones I snuck when he wasn't paying attention. The other day, I realized that there is not a single photo of us together since 1996. I was shocked...but not surprised. Upon further contemplation I remembered that there are a few of us together at my brother's wedding, in 2004. It is a bit sad, and something I need to remedy. I mentioned it to him, and he may allow some shots of us one of these days. He is just so self-conscience, and doesn't value the documentation of his life. However, for my dear Sugar Bear, I must find a way to get her parents in the same photo. It is my newest mission.

Both Autumn and Gayle wanted to hear a bit more about The Hubby and Sugar Bear's relationship, and how I feel about it. You see, I have 100% responsibility of Sugar Bear, and while it is strange to MANY, it works for us. In fact, I works really well for me. I'm a bit of a control freak......yup.....I am, and particularly about parenting decisions. I rather like that I have 100% say on how Sugar Bear is raised, and I like to think it makes it easier on Sugar Bear, as she has very consistent parenting. So many parents struggle to agree on some many parenting decisions, and I am POSITIVE that The Hubby and I would be arguing A LOT about all the details, because we are very different people. Instead, all things are diverted to me, and since my connection with Sugar is so deep, I don't mind one bit. From day one it has been all me. The best way to describe it is to think of a single parent. That is me. If it has to do with the care of Sugar, it is my job. Specifically, Autumn wondered if The Hubby had ever watch Sugar Bear alone. A combination of respecting their comfort levels, and my annoying control issues, it happens very rarely. Usually for no more than 45 minutes. I will run to the store, or something if she is sleeping. If she wakes up, they do fine while I'm gone, but neither feel real comfortable. As she gets older this happens more often, and it is easier on them. I think the first time, they were alone together Sugar was 2 1/2.


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The Hubby and Sugar have a relationship that is unique to them. It is much like a Big Brother/Little Sister relationship. They play together sometimes, bicker at times, and while they love each other, they also annoy each other. The Hubby likes to share the things that interest him with Sugar. They tend to Tiny, the pony, together, he shows her all sorts of wildlife, and the things he builds. She finds him fascinating, and has learned a lot about the world from him. Again, as she ages, it becomes easier for them to find things to do together, as she shows more interest in what he is doing. We do family things together, as you can see if you peruse my blog a bit. We go to the beach, for drives in the woods, and so on. I am rarely alone, as Gayle wondered. In fact, I yearn for alone time. So many years of The Hubby being away fishing set me up for cherishing my alone time, now that it isn't as easy to come by.


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I'm well aware of how strange it all sounds, but while it isn't the traditional family, it is working for us. I am grateful to have Sugar Bear in my life, and there honestly hasn't been a single day since her birth that I wished for help in her care from The Hubby. I firmly believe that if your accept things as they are, it is easier to manage it all. I never wish it was "his turn" to put Sugar to bed. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I don't spend time wishing things were different, because they simply are what they are, and I'm okay with that. I consider myself VERY lucky. Sugar Bear is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.


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The photos in this post were taken back in July when The Hubby, Sugar Bear and I went camping. The Hubby was helping our dog, Daisy, practice diving, and wanted Sugar to see better. The water in the creek was not only over Sugar's head, it was extremely cold. The best way for Sugar to see the action was on his shoulder's. I was so glad to have my zoom lens on my camera, as I was able to snap these shots. I added texture to them, as they weren't the best quality. I'm pleased with the results, and know that Sugar will cherish these photos when she is older.

4 Live It or Love It:

Jessie said...

There are so many different ways that people live. It drives me crazy when I get comments on my life. My husband travels a lot for work and I have friends that will comment "I would never have a family with someone that traveled all the time". I am not sure that they mean it badly but it hurts my feelings. I think I am doing pretty good as a mother and hubs does the best he can with the time he has with them. I just adore your relationship with Sugar Bear. You are all so blessed!

Jen said...

I feel so enlightened now. Thanks for reposting this for me : )I agree with Jessie. I can tell you and Sugar Bear have such a wonderful relationship. Obviously you love her with all your heart. You truly are an inspiration to me. It is also so admirable that you and your husband have figured out what works for your family. That's all that matters.

Autumn said...

Another one of my favorite posts! Ah that break up year was bad for everyone.. hehehehe.
Sugar has changed so much since those pictures, looking more like momma these days. :)

Kimberly said...

I love this post! It says so much about you and the love you have for Sugar Bear. I think that the term "different strokes for different folks" totally applies. As long as it works out for you and your family, that's what matters. :) Thanks for opening up and sharing a little bit more of your life with us. :)

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