Living and Loving Every Minute of It!

Sunday, June 3, 2007

When Good Modeling Goes Right

As we all know, children love to repeat what they hear and witness. It is all fun and games until it comes back to bite you in the fanny. I know we have all experienced some sort of incident when our child has said something they heard from you, your hubby, grandpa, grandma.....TV, ETC, and it wasn't something we necessarily wanted to hear coming from our dear, sweet child. It seems that foul language is everywhere, and I have to be on my toes. So far so good, but I know my time is coming. A sponge of a toddler is like a time bomb waiting to go off.

This particular post, however, is focusing on when this process goes RIGHT. When the things I say, and do have a positive impact on my child. The power of positive modeling amazes me. Maybe my child is just really susceptible to it, or maybe I am a modeling fool, but Sugar Bear has picked up the most sweet and wonderful habit. She currently happens to be the politest little toddler I know.

I hear the phrase, "Neek you Mama!" at least 20 times a day. Neek=Thank, if you were wondering. This simple sentence makes me smile every time. The amazing thing is that I have never really taught her to say this. I rarely ever remind her to say it. She always remembers to say, "please" also. Here is a sample conversation that we have several times a day:

Sugar Bear: "More crackers pease, Mama."
Me: "Sure honey! Here you go."
Sugar Bear: "Oh neek you Mama! Neek you!"
Me: "You're welcome Sugar Bear!"

Small conversations like this were enough to make a mama silly with love, but lately she has put the sweetest twist on it. She has discovered emotions, particularly happiness. So, she now says, "Neek you Mama. I so happy!" Oh how that blesses my soul. Last night, I interrupted her play to give her Potty Time Elmo that a friend handed down to us. I walked in the room and I said, "Sugar, I have a present for you!" My sweet girl jumped up with her hands clasped and said, "oh neek you Mama! Neek you very much! I so happy, I give you hug!" She came right for me, and gave me the biggest hug. Then she said, "my present pease mama!" (Elmo was a hit, in case you were wondering. WE may be using the potty before she is 12 after all.)
Earlier this evening I gave her a cookie. She smiled at me, and said, "Neek you Mama. I so happy inside with cookie!" Seriously, isn't that the cutest thing you have ever heard?

Not all toddlers pick up this politeness habit. In fact, not all older children are this polite. It is sort of a pet peeve of mine when children are demanding, and order people around. It is important to me that Sugar Bear doesn't take anything for granted, and that she always asks nicely for things. I don't however, recall ever being pushy about it. When she says it, I can tell it is coming from her heart, not because she has to say it. That is what makes it so special to me. I am not in denial that I have encouraged it though. In fact, everyday when I pick her up from her sitter, as we walk out the door, I encourage her to say, "Thank you Shannon! See you tomorrow!" It is old hat for her now, so I only have to remind her every now and again.

I feel so blessed with this amazing kid. She continues to overwhelm me with emotion. I have not found anything as heartwarming, as the phrase, "Neek you Mama. I so happy today!"

Neek you all for humoring this very smitten mama.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do!

Breaking up....."it's not YOU, it's ME!".....ugh......so hard to do! In my life I have broken many hearts. Well, as long as you count 4 hearts as many. In my opinion, hurting even one heart is more than I ever wanted, but could I help it if I was a freak magnet? tee hee Just kidding. All four hearts belonged to wonderful young men that were just unlucky enough to surrender their hearts to a young girl who didn't really know what she was doing. In my defense, I was 16 the last time I broke a heart. I think being that I am 32 now, I am doing really well.

This all leads us to my current situation. I am needing to muscle up all my nerve and break up.....break up with whom you may ask? Some of you might be a little confused or worried. Relax! It is my daughters babysitter. You read it right. I need to break up with Sugar Bear's sitter, Shannon. After much soul searching, and restless nights, as we all know I worry a bit, I have decided to enroll her in a home daycare/preschool in the fall when I go back to work. All this means that I have the unfortunate job of telling her sitter that we no longer need her services. UGH....I am really not good with such matters.

Shannon has been watching my Sugar since January of 06. She is a friend of a friend, who used to have an in-home daycare when she lived in a different city. She started watching Sugar Bear more out of a need to "help out" than to start up her business again. Leaving my daughter while I worked was incredibly difficult for me, and I have to say that I don't think I have always been very easy to please. I literally typed up a 3 page explanation of how I wanted my daughter to be taken care of. I had rules, and requests, and I was very clear about what was negotiable, and what wasn't. I think Shannon got her first real shock when on day 4 I brought her a small plastic bead in a baggie, and asked her if she recognized it. Yup...my daughter had pooped it out. I washed it off, and took it to the sitter the next morning. I figured what better way to make the point that she needed to be more vigilant about small items than to hand her that bead? It worked. From that day forward Sugar Bear's poops were shiny object free.

I am a carseat nazi, choke hazard freak, over protective mom. I am certain that Shannon had no idea what she got herself into for a mere $20 a day. I am quite sure that you couldn't pay me enough to put up with a mom like myself. However, all in all things haven't been that bad, but they haven't been ideal either. No one can raise my daughter they way I would. No one will say the things I say, nor do the exact things I do. Not one care provider will ever be me, but I strive to find a situation where the caregiver parallels my basic philosophy in parenting.

This leads us to the home day-care/preschool, that I am moving Sugar Bear to. I have been on the list for this place since I was 4 months pregnant. I am thrill that there is finally an opening for my girl. I am excited about the new possibilities. The new caregiver, Lorrene, is an amazing woman. I have known her for 4 years through a good friend of mine. I have met her several times, and interviewed her 2 times by phone, and twice in person. Each time, I marveled at how she modeled the very philosophy I follow. It was like I knew what she was going to say before she said it. I knew what she would do before she did it. My observations of her interactions with the children in her care were as close to my own style as I have seen. This makes me very, very happy! I am excited for the change this fall.

The only thing holding my excitement back is the need to break up with Shannon. Today was Sugar Bear's last day.....but Shannon did not know it. I know, I know....I should have told her, but I just couldn't. She knows that she isn't watching Sugar over the summer, but I haven't told her that we aren't coming back. I will admit there are a ton of reasons I haven't done it yet, but if I am totally honest, it is mostly because I am nervous. I hate the whole, "it isn't you...it's me" thing. The simple truth is that is it 90% her. She will know it because I am a horrible liar. I just don't want to hurt her feelings or burn a bridge. She is a wonderful person and lovely mother. We just have VERY different parenting styles. As my daughter ages, and is starting to exert more independence, I can not ignore our vastly different discipline techniques. I know in my heart none of this has to be said, but I worry that she will want to know why...why am I choosing a new provider. I is silly to think that I will break her heart. Actually I think she might be a tad relieved, but I just don't do confrontation well.

I could go on and on and on about this....I have been stressing over this for months. I set up a day at the park with her and her kids in 2 weeks. I plan on telling her then. I will do it! I will find the strength. I will let go of the worry. It will be fine. She'll be relieved. We'll laugh...and there will be no confrontation, right? Just tell me....why is breaking up so hard to do?

ETA: This post has caused much controversy. Please read the comments, as I have clarified some misunderstandings. I am sorry if this post presented me as an inconsiderate person. In fact, it is my sense of responsibility and kindheartedness that has made this so difficult for me. Please take the time to read my explanation in the comments section if this post has left a bad taste in your mouth. Thank you!

Friday, June 1, 2007

Four For Friday

How on earth could it possibly be Friday again? I feel like it was Friday yesterday. I suppose that is what happens when you have a 5 day weekend. :) Anyhow, here we are celebrating our second "Four For Friday." woo hoo I am on a roll. Heck I am just proud that I remembered to do it twice in a row.

Many of you know, yet some of you don't, that I like to create. I enjoy the process of creating in many different forms. One of these is sewing. To be honest, if you would have told me 5 years ago that I might be sewing outfits, not only for my child, but for other fortunate children whose parents happen to know me, I would have laughed out loud. Yet, here I am constantly sewing something new, and loving every minute of it.

Today I'd like to share with you four outfits that I made in the last year or so. It was really, really, really hard for me to pick just four, but I tried to show a variety. There will be four outfits, but more than four pictures, cause I am CRAZY like that.

This first one, I made last September for a sweet little gal named Emma. In these pictures, Miss Sugar is modeling it for us though. For this particular Halloween outfit, I embellished a white t-shirt and denim jeans with a fun spiderweb bandanna. I really loved this outfit and had a hard time giving it up!

This Second outfit just might be my all time favorite. I simply embellished a t-shirt with wide striped ribbon around the middle, and ruffled it around the bottom. I then took different colors of ribbon and made loops to go around the bottom of a pair of jeans cut to Capri length. So fun! What a hoot. People either loved it or hated it. What do you think?

The third outfit is one I made for Sugar Bear to wear during the fall season. I took a pair of overalls, and different fall themed fabric and designed her a very cute pair of decorative overalls. These remind me of a ruffly, feathery, turkey fanny. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT!

This last outfit was the source of much discussion. It was said by "some" that I might have over done it on this one, but you should have seen the heads turning the day she wore it. tee hee.....fun fun fun. I mean, what are holiday's for if not for dressing your poor child up in loud, garish outfits.
For this outfit I took overalls, St. Paddy's day fabric, elastic, and some green grosgrain ribbon, and did a little magic...TA DA! Instant St. Patrick's Day Princess.

Now don't tell me you aren't just a tiny bit jealous that I am not your mom? Seriously, I get giddy thinking about her next Holiday outfit. People just can't deny that Sugar Bear's mama is exuberant about making life FUN!