Where on earth have I been?

Hey there folks........is anyone still checking in on me?  I know....I know....I disappeared without much warning.  I certainly did not mean to do it.  I just needed a small break....that turned into months and months.  Time flew.  WOW! 

I do keep busy over at Blipfoto.com though.  Check me out:  http://www.blipfoto.com/Livingandloving

I post over there every day.  It keeps me busy. 

I did want to share over here that Sugar Bear has just wrapped up her 2nd grade year.  WOW!  This school year was so fast.  She had a great year, and loved her teacher.  I'm so happy about that.

Here is a reminder of her on here first day of class:

Here is the photo I took just yesterday: Look at how grown up she is! sigh........I'm not ready to say that my daughter is a 3rd grader....I'm just not ready.

School has begun

So, I'm more than a bit behind in posting these, but I figure, better late then never, right?

Summer flew by for us, and Sugar Bear was definitely NOT ready for school to start.  She started worrying about it about 3 weeks before the first day back.  She started talking about not liking school, and it really hurt my heart.  She had such a love of learning when she was younger, and I am sad to see her resisting the process now.

For a week before the first day, she continued to say to me each morning and night, "I'm not ready for school to start, Mom."  I had hope that "meet the teacher night" which takes place two days before school starts would build some excitement for her. 

While she found some smiles, because that is WHO she is.......

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could also see the worry in her heart.

 

 

 

 

 

She busied herself jumping and leaping those jitters away.

 

 

 

I asked her if it helped her get ready for school, and she stated that it really didn't help much. The day before school started she said, "I just have so much anxiety about school, Mom." :( poor girl. I reassured her that it was normal to be nervous, and that I used to get so nervous that I'd have a tummyache before the first day of school each year.

 

  The first day came, and she got up and ready without fuss. She obliged me with photos, because she is awesome like that. I can't believe how grown up she looks in these.

 

 

 

 

Out of the truck.....and looking at the school.

 

 

 

 

Heading on in.

 

 

 

 

Letting me grab some portraits while we wait outside with the other kids for the day to begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I left her there....hoping for the best. Now I must say, there really isn't adequate words for how I felt when I picked her up at the end of the day and she said, "MOM! It was the BEST first day of school EVER!" Seriously......she didn't act that excited when we were at Disneyland.

 

This was HUGE! She as been so very happy. We are five school days in....and she is still loving it!

Dancer in Action

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. ~Vicki Baum

To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. ~Agnes De Mille

Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another. ~Author Unknown

Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order. ~Samuel Beckett

Dancing is the body made poetic.- Ernst Bacon

Those move easiest who have learn'd to dance.- Alexander Pope

Another year of dance is done.  I'm hoping the summer break will renew Sugar Bear's desire to dance.  While she enjoys dancing, she tires of the endless practicing of the "same old dance" that the preparing for Recital brings.  By the time Recital gets here, she has grown weary of the classes.  The Recital itself is joyful for her, and for that I am glad, because I love seeing her perform. 

My Blue-tiful Dancer

“We dance for laughter,

we dance for tears,

we dance for madness,

we dance for fears,

we dance for hopes,

we dance for screams,

we are the dancers,

we create the dreams.”

- Author Unknown

Last Day of First Grade

I am quite nearly overcome with emotion thinking that my girl is finished with First Grade.   How can this be?  This year really did fly.  While it was a wonderful year, we are so ready for Summer.  Looking forward to lots of fun times. 

If you remember, I started a little project on Sugar Bear's first day. 

Here she is TODAY....on her last day of First Grade.

Oh my how she has grown.  I had forgotten that she had TWO missing front teeth when school started.  tee hee

Sugar Bear.......

- is SEVEN years old. How can that be?

- is my bestest little friend. I am her mother.....but she is definitely my favorite person in the whole wide world. It is my greatest hope that it always stays that way.

- has amazing hair. I waited soooooooooooooooooo long for that hair to show up, and oh how it takes my breath away with it's multi-colored, highlighted loveliness. I am sad to report that she wants to cut it this summer. It is KILLING me, but we'll do it and give it to Lock for Love.



- blesses my heart each and every single day with her continued, all encompassing, love for her mama. She looks at me with eyes so full of love, that I often feel like I can see her soul.

- loves yogurt, spaghetti, and fruit. She is a pretty choosy eater, but I'm mostly to blame for that. One thing I love about this girl is her ability to stop eating when she is satisfied. She won't eat something for the sake of eating it. She turns down dessert or a treat nearly 50% of the time. Wish I had that control.

-loves to listen to Adele, and more recently, The Civil Wars. She has good taste in music.

- is growing into her new teeth. It has been a hard transition with these new BIGGER teeth, but her smile still lights up the world of those she blesses with it. It changed her little face, but it isn't the outside that truly shines....it's what's on the inside that makes her the amazing girl she is.

- is brave and strong. She most recently was sick with vomiting while I was away for several days. While she prefers to nearly crawl back inside me when she is not feeling well, she will also just buck right up and take care of herself. She got ill in the middle of the night, and decided not to wake her grandma, and just clean herself up and go back to sleep. It is times like this when I can't deny she is growing up.

- likes school, but isn't an over achiever. She just doesn't like anything more than anything else. You can ask her, "want to go to the park?" and you'll get nearly the same reaction if you asked her, "want to go take a bath?" She is willing to do most things, but doesn't show GREAT enthusiasm for anything in particular. It is never a chore to get her to go to school, but she doesn't get all giddy about it either. She isn't a fan of reading, but is progressing.

- prides herself in being quite a funny little person. She will always be "my little ham sandwich". She continues to be shy around people, but one of her main coping mechanisms is humor. She has been using this technique since she was about two years of age. She LOVES to make people of all ages laugh. Lately, I've noticed how much she enjoys making her friends laugh. She can be a real goofball. She appreciates a good Ol' corny kid joke. A favorite right now: Why did Tigger look in in the toilet?...........He was looking for Pooh! tee hee

- is tenderhearted, but not overly emotional. I have NEVER seen her mad. oh wait....once when she was like 18 months she threw a tantrum. Other than that.....she is the most even keeled person EVER. She cares deeply, but is able to be reasonable, and is one of the most understanding individuals I have ever met.

- loves the colors BLUE, PURPLE, and GREEN. She tolerates pink, but would really love to do without it. She isn't a foo foo sort of girl, and only asks to wear a dress once in a rare while. In fact, she never really cares what she is wearing. I still pick out her clothes for her (blush).

- is really enjoying the rare sunny days we've had lately. I love to see her outside playing with our dog, or climbing a tree, or singing loudly as she swings back and forth on her swing set. That's what childhood should be about. Nothing rocks our world more than some time before dinner hanging out with the newest babies bunnies. ♥

- deserves so much more that I can ever give her. Of all the things I've ever done.....creating this special little person tops them all. She has given me FAR more than I'll ever be able to repay. ♥ I am one VERY lucky mama!

I love my little Sugar Bear to the moon and back.....and more than all the stars in the sky.

Fabulous Friday Challenge~ Magic

There is MAGIC everywhere......

you just have to open your eyes and look for it. ♥

Sugar Bear gave me these wet spring blossoms right after dance class the other day. It's the simple things sometimes that have the biggest impact on my heart. ♥

My Week 68

January 9th was a pretty quick and busy day. We had to run home after school and work to make homemade blueberry muffins for Sugar Bear's birthday celebration at school. Sugar helped me whip them up in no time. They were amazingly yummilious! :)




January 10th is always a big day in the Living and Loving household. Sugar Bear turned SEVEN this year! How on earth can that be! Seems like yesterday I could hold her with one arm. sigh..... I surprised her by putting 7 helium balloons in her room, so that it was the first thing she saw when she woke up. :) We usually are out of the house in about 15 minutes from wake up time. I woke her a bit early so we'd have time to blow out a candle on a blueberry muffin before school. I took the rest of the muffins to her class later in the day. It was such a darling celebration. They had the birthday girl sit in the center of the circle of kids, and each child took turns telling a birthday wish they had for her. So cute. Most wished that she would have a birthday cake that was bigger than the earth, but some were so sweet. A kitten...a pony.....a bunny (she's had all of those) were among them. One girl wished that Sugar would be "filthy, stinkin' rich". lol and one boy wished that she would "not smoke when she grew up." It was quite an experience. Sugar Bear had good birthday. We opened presents and had take out chinese food when we got home that evening.



January 11th was supposed to be a simple sort of day. It was designed to be a half-day at school, with a 7 year well child exam in the afternoon. However, it went a little wonky when Sugar Bear fell on the playground before school even started, and cracked her head pretty hard on a metal beam. She got quite the goose egg on her forehead and wanted to go home. We bumped up the well child exam a little earlier, and had her checked out. All is good.




January 12th found us back to our regular schedule. Work for me....school and dance for Sugar Bear. I snapped a quick shot of Sugar Bear's dance bun when we got home. I love the little crochet bun cover we have for her.


January 13th has school for the Sugar, and a morning of CPR/FIRST AID class for me. This marked my 16th year of CPR class. Through my work I have taken it once a year, and Seriously...do they have to change it all the time like they do? I feel like I should be an expert by now. This year was a bit different though. This class was actually the "make up class". We usually do these classes in the fall. Myself and some other staff could bear to do it in the fall. You might remember that in early September, while at an all staff meeting of over 100 staff, one my co-workers died right before our very eyes. Most of us had never experienced such a thing, and seeing CPR first hand....then imaging taking a class a few weeks after was a bit much for me. I will admit that it was still a bit hard all these months later. :(




January 14th was supposed to be a special, awesomely, fun day. It was the day of Sugar Bear's PARTY! We were all set.....then about 1.5 hours before party time, Sugar Bear spiked a fever and vomited. :( NOT GOOD! We had to cancel the party, and re-schedule for the following weekend. This is a shot of my sick girl.




January 15th found us still in our jammies, and not really doing a darn thing. I literally lay in bed with Sugar Bear all day. High fevers had her feeling pretty low, and she barely talked all day. Poor sweet girl.





You'd think she'd be up and running again by now....but we are 5 days out....and she is still sick. There has been no school for her this week. We have done NOTHING....and I do mean NOTHING (well, I've read almost 3 books) for days. We are getting stir crazy, and really worried we might have to cancel the party again. :( boo hiss.....

Letting her light shine

For the past few months, I have found myself in "barely blogging" mode, and it makes me sad. There are so many things I get out of the process of blogging. I love the idea that someday Sugar Bear will get to read back and have the opportunity to peek into her childhood. To know her mother better. To see.....to feel....to know the way I have felt about being her mother. I have only been able to do the bare minimum lately when it comes to documenting our life. It is my Christmas wish that I will find the time....the desire....the drive to do more.

The other day, it was an incredible morning outside. It was cold.....and crisp.....and the light was amazing. I couldn't resist trying to nab some macro shots of nature. It was truly something that could be considered "me time". It was all for me. Sugar tagged along, and while I crouched in the frosty grass, I looked over to see my darling girl bathed in warm glorious light. I caught my breath and began to snap away. She didn't disappoint. I was able to snag so many shots that capture all that is Sugar Bear.

Her inner light.....her joy........her amazing little self. I recently had a friend experience the TRUE Sugar Bear, and it blessed my heart. So often, Sugar is just to shy to be "herself". I love that she is opening up to those around her more. I love that my friend got to see this girl.....

This sweet......fun......GOOFY girl. She is funny, and witty.......and just plain lovable. She started to mimic me......searching to get a laugh out of me.

It worked! How could it not? She IS my joy. I am so very blessed to be this little person's mama. I can not feel more proud.

I hope that she will always know how completely I love her. I hope she always knows that I am her biggest fan, and I can't wait to see who she becomes.

This smile has changed.......it is changing every day.....but it is still my most favorite smile in the world because it goes right to my heart, and fills me with the most amazing feeling.

I know.....I know.....I'm such a sappy mom. I can't help it. She is just such a pretty little nut.

I am about 98% sure she is a an Almond. :)

I'm so Thankful For......

-My wonderful and supportive parents.

-Sugar Bear's friends. They are such a darling group of children.

-Pumpkin Butter Cake.

-The roof over my head.

-My husband. We've been together almost 22 years, and he still likes me. ♥

-A flexible job, so that I might put my family first.

-Co-working friends that make me laugh.

-A big Strong Beefy diesel truck that never fails to keep us safe on our daily commute.

-My health.

-The most amazing Daughter the world has ever seen. ♥ ♥ ♥

-New friends.

-Old friends.

-The library.....books are such a huge part of my life.

-The ability to try new things.

-Always having enough......enough of anything.

-My desire to always be present.

-Frozen Blueberries. :)

-People who put up with me, and all my weirdo-ness! (yes, that is a word.)

-My desire and ability to make people laugh.

-Clean, drinkable water every single day.

-My daughter's health!!!! Such a blessing.

-The Hubby's job that gives me a sense of purpose and gives us so many opportunities.

-Sugar Bear's school. She loves it.

-My kitty....my doggy....the bunnies!

-Living somewhere that I feel is safe.

-Everyone that makes me feel loved.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone! Life is Good!

52 Weeks of ME- Week 45

I snapped this shot of myself last Wednesday, the 2nd. I got a haircut the day before, and I was feeling pretty good about the healthy hair. It had been a year since my last haircut. I couldn't decide if I wanted to grow it out or not. I finally decided to chop it all off again. I needed some change. I NEEDED some change. I'm just not feeling like being ME, lately. I totally know I'm not depressed or anything, but MAN....if it were possible, I'd just stop being me for awhile. I'm not even sure I'm making any sense, but it's how I feel. I feel like a broken record this Fall. argh. whine...whine....whine! I just don't want to feel so overwhelmed, and disjointed anymore. I miss being PRESENT, and ENGAGED. I feel like running away. Far, far, far, away.

It's not alllllll bad. Sugar Bear is fabulous! My Hubby has been great. I'm a lucky, lucky lady. There is just so many things I'm feeling icky and sad about. I'm in the process of making change. It just isn't happening fast enough.

The way she is

Something you might not know about my Sugar Bear is the fact that she is extremely goofy. She loves a good laugh, and if she can be the cause of it.....all the better. It is one of the ways, that over the years, she has learned as a coping skill to deal with her shyness. If people are going to be looking at her....she's gonna act like a doof and make them laugh. That way...if they are laughing at her....she knows why. She started this at an age as young as 2 and a half. She would pretend to fall down, or walk into a wall, and say, "oiy!" or "Doh!", and the kids would laugh. It was her way of joining in, and being in control of how she was included. It was facsinating to watch.

It continues to this day, some four years later. A fellow parent came up to me the other day and said, "You know....Sugar really has helped "S" feel more comfortable riding the bus. She loves to sit with Sugar Bear, because she makes her laugh. "S" is always saying, 'Sugar is so funny, dad!'"

This made me smile. It doesn't surprise me one bit. I know that Sugar Bear has had her own anxiety over riding the bus, and it makes perfect sense that she is using humor to ease that stress. It is just how she rolls.

She makes me laugh EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! I adore her goofy nature. I love that she has figured out a way to cope with stress, and that it has an additional result of endearing her to others. Kids like her. She is fun to be around. This is good. It gives her confidence.....and what more could a mother ask for?

I just love her. I do....I know you're not shocked. I adore her....and cherish her....and miss her goofy little face when we are apart. I'm lucky. I know it. It couldn't be better! Bless her goofy little heart!