"Dear Children..."

In honor of the Group Writing Project over at MamaBlogga I have composed the following post. Thank you so much Jordan for the inspiration.

To My Dearest Daughter,

I write this letter, with the intent that someday it just might come in handy. Someday when you are in your teens and you think "the world is against you" or that "everyone hates you" or that I "just don't love you, and only serve to make your life a living HELL". I hope that these words I write now will help soften your heart, and give you a sense of truly belonging.

As I write this, your nearly 29 month old self is sound asleep in your crib for your afternoon nap. You are snuggled in with your THREE blankies, your baby elephant, and your pink "cow/pig", just as I placed you after a wonderful, peaceful moment of snuggle nursing in the glider rocker located in your room. We both look forward to those moments. These days you climb up into my lap, giggle with glee as I tell you how much you are loved. Your response recently has been, "hank you mama! Hank you beary much!" It melts my heart, and blesses my soul.

During these quiet and close moments, I often find myself thinking of you and your future. I have worried that you will never really understand the depth of my love for you. This troubles me greatly. As an adult, I have doubted that my own mother ever loved me as I love you. It just can't be possible. I sit and look into your face and know that there is nothing in the world that I could have possibly done to deserve you. I pull you closer, and wonder how I'll ever let you go. How will I ever survive when you move out of my home?

I am beginning to realize that is a very good thing that as you age, you will begin to show your independence. You will strive to be separate from me. You will be ornery, and sassy, and put your foot down for what you believe. It is a darn good thing, because if it wasn't for your efforts to be an individual, you would always be an extension of me. As we are at this moment, we are very much one. The connection I feel with you is overwhelmingly fabulous. I am certain that if it were up to me, we would never part. The very thought of being physically distant from you makes my body ache. The notion that someday we might be emotionally disconnected is literally unfathomable.

I am sadly aware that as you read this, you may still doubt the breadth of my devotion. From the moment you were in my womb, my journey in life became yours. I have little purpose other than to help you become who you are meant to become. I am so very honored, Sugar Bear, to be your mother. No amount of angry words, or frustrations will ever diminish that devotion. Your happiness and success are my mission in life. I am your biggest fan, and that will NEVER change. Please be patient with dear old mom. She is emotionally messy just imagining a future where you care more about what your friends think than what I think. I may not always be exactly on the same page as you....but honey, I started this book for you, and I'd love to help you make it a best seller.

Now I must go stand at the edge of your crib, and admire your peacefulness, your beauty, your amazing sense of wonderment. Thank you, my daughter for being you.....NOW and ALWAYS!

Bushel and a peck,
Mama

I Am An Official Homebody

Here it is Memorial Day Weekend, and everyone I know has some sort of plan with friends or family. This weekend is notorious for BBQ's and Campouts. Most people look forward to this long weekend of fun, play and socialization. I DO NOT! I'd rather just stay home.

I am not sure when it happened, but I am sure that it has been a long, long, long time. I do not like to go anywhere on Holiday Weekends. There is just plain too many people in the campgrounds, and even more "crazies" on the road. It has become pretty obvious to me that I don't like crowds. I don't really fancy myself anti-social either, but I am not a fan of large get-togethers. They make me anxious and I am not really all that certain why.

I am not afraid of people.
I am not claustrophobic.
I am not shy.
I am a talker.
I love to laugh.
I get along with most anyone.

So what is my hang up? I hate to admit it, but folks....I think it stems from laziness. Yup...I think it does. I don't enjoying having people to my house. I despise having to do the "before they come clean-up", and I really dislike with a passion the "after they leave clean-up"! It is so much easier to just sit around in my own mess. Unfortunately, I don't really enjoy going to other people's houses much either. I always end up the resident babysitter for everyone's kids and their dog. I think it all comes down to the person with the most worries will watch the kids, because she can't sit back and enjoy herself wondering what her child is up to. It isn't a surprise that this person is always me, and all the other adults figure if Corey is watching.....all is good, so they go have fun. Sorry, but I could have just stayed home and watched my ONE kid thanks! I guess I am too lazy to babysit everyone else's kids on my holiday weekend.

As for camping, I am a nature girl. I do enjoy camping, but I don't like to camp where there are 100 other families camping. I like to be in the peace and quiet of nature. When there is a totally strange family like 50 feet from me....I just can't relax. Sometimes I like to camp with friends or family, but even then, I end up the babysitter, or my FAVORITE...the keeper of the drunks. Nothing is more fun than being the ONLY sober person in a group of drunks. I find myself trying to convince the inebriated ones why it isn't a good idea to take the raft out on the lake to see who can row the fastest at midnight. I chase them down to the raft, steal the oars and spend 10 minutes explaining the dangers. I then have to turn over the oars for two reasons:
A. They are bigger than me, and I don't feel like a midnight swim.
B. 100 feet away they have awoke at least one of the babies sleeping in the tent. I now get to sit in a dark tent and try to lull them back to sleep, and pray that the over sized children I left down at the lake aren't drowning.
Yup.....could have stayed home and relaxed. It is after such weekend vacations that I truly need a vacation. I just don't need that stress.

So here I sit on this memorial weekend feeling blessed that not one person asked me to "do something". My hubby planned a boys weekend AWAY from our house! Thank you!
I had the privilege of staying home, cleaning house, editing pictures, eating easy meals, and playing with my daughter. Now that is what I call a successful Holiday Weekend! I hope yours was everything you wanted it to be also!

The Truth About My Little TV Junkie

Sugar Bear is a TV Junkie! Yup...there it is.....I said it! Don't get me wrong, I have known this for quite some time, but I just have a hard time really admitting it. My daughter loves her some TV viewing, and to be totally honest, her mama loves that she will watch TV at her age. Some kids won't attend to a TV show for longer than 5 minutes. Not my girl....she'd watch it all day if I let her. Now we both know I dont' do that, right? Okay, so maybe on sick days....but not usually!

I think to get a real understanding of how this Junkieness came about, you need to realize that for much of my girls first two years I was a single mama. My husband is a commercial fisherman that not only works off the Oregon and California coasts, but he spent close to 9 months of the year in Alaska the year Sugar Bear was born. It is also worthy to note that even when my husband is home, I have 100% of care duties. That was all part of the negotiation in whether we would have a child. I took on all the work. I am cool with that. So, from these two pieces of information, and the fact that I work 30 hours a week outside of home, you might realize that I can be pinched for time, and desperate for just a 10 minutes to myself.

I don't fancy myself a bad mother, but despite research that suggests children under the age of 2 should see NO television, I made good use of the worlds best product ever.....BABY EINSTEIN! Starting at 3 months of age, I could pop one of these fabulous videos in the machine, and set my little pumpkin in her bouncer in front of the TV and have 25-30 minutes to myself. Sometimes I showered, sometimes I cooked, sometimes I just laid on the couch and went into a short,yet well earned coma. It all depended on what I needed at the time, and my little Sugar would watch those videos in awe. It was a win/win situation.

As she grew, I began to notice the things she had learned from those sessions. By the age of 18 months, she knew most of her shapes. Soon she knew her colors also. She knew the names of all sorts of animals that I never even introduced to her. At the ripe age of 2 years she was proficient in her Shapes, Colors, Numbers 1-10, and nearly all her Letters and the sounds they make. WOW, all this and very little effort. It is apparent to me that my daughter is s visual learner. She is showing little interest in the potty though.....so in a few weeks she will be viewing Potty Power, and we'll see how it goes.

I still worry that the researchers are correct, and I have somehow damaged my daughter. According to them, she should soon be hyper active, aggressive, and FAT! Well, the girl started out with some serious "junk in her trunk" and is slowly thinning down. She is far from aggressive and so far is typically active for a child her age. The research says that no matter what the content, any TV is NOT GOOD! I beg to differ. I ease my worried soul knowing that I don't let her watch all day, and I don't let her watch non-educational, and most importantly, I try to watch with her or at least talk with her about what she has watched. I have no doubt that without those moments of time when I can do what I need to do, and know that she is safely watching a good show, I would not be the happy, loving,and rested mama that my daughter needs. I am grateful that this day and age provides so many choices for great, educational TV viewing.

I'd like to share some pictures....I know you are shocked! About 2 months ago, Sugar Bear's favorite book was this box that her Baby Einstein videos came in. She loved to look at the cover and the picture inside of her favorite characters. On this particular day she insisted that "they" go outside with her. These pictures are so HER. She is a fun girl!

Taking her book swinging.


The book goes for a slide.


The book in the playhouse.




The book at the picnic table.




And a quiet moment with her book.


Don't tell her that outside time can't be alittle about TV watching too. Silly silly girl!

Four For Friday

From this Friday forward, I will be featuring the number FOUR. I am not sure yet what all I might find to post about, but each Friday will bring something new. I searched for an existing MEME that interested me, but I wasn't finding anything that floated my boat, and let's face it...my boat is quickly sinking. A girls gotta sink or swim. I choose swimming, as sinking is just plain scary. Thus....I invented the Four For Friday. Who wants to place bets on how many Friday's it takes me to cry mercy?

This week, I'd like to share FOUR pictures from last summer that make me smile. I only have one week left until summer vacation, y'all and I am soooooooooooooooooooo Ready! I LOVE SUMMER!

This first picture features Sugar Bear and her Papa Mike. I love this picture because my baby girl suffers from shyness around people she doesn't know, or doesn't see very often. This particular day, it took her no less than 3 hours to warm up to her Paternal Grandparents, but when she finally did, it was sweet, innocent and good!



This second picture features my darling girl sitting in the grass while we were on one of our evening walks. Our summer evening walks are truly moments of bliss. Sugar Bera, the nature girl, adores to see the sites, and mama, the photo freak, gets giddy about all the great photo moments. However, I can not help but smile exceptionally big for this picture, as it displays her favorite hat so well. I am quite certain I have at least 1000 picture of her in this hat. :)



The third picture just melts my heart. Look at this girl! Isn't this a pose fit for model? This has to be one of my very favorite pictures I have ever taken. It was just the perfect moment, and I captured it. sigh.....this is what makes photography to fullfilling for me. Look at those eyes! I had my camera mojo going on that day! I am constantly on the hunt for the perfect picture....I am chasing it!



This last picture not only makes me smile, it makes me laugh out loud. This was taken while visiting my brother and his family when they vacationed at the lake. It was the first outing for the bikini...and boy did my girl know how to work her baby fat or what?. :) love love love it. OH, and I entered this photo in a cute kid contest and it won most humorous. High Five!