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Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Unexpected!

Last night, I crept out of Sugar Bear's room after putting her to bed, and settled myself down at the computer to write my blog post. Being that ultra thrifty person I am, all the lights in the house were off expect for the Christmas tree lights and a lamp by the computer. Suddenly, our kitchen door flew open. I jumped up to hurry and close it, as I assumed it was the wind. I was half way there when a big voice said............."Hi Babe!" I nearly jumped right out of my skin. Unexpectedly my Hubby had come home.

You see, I don't talk much of Hubby. He is a private person who just doesn't understand this blogging business, and just isn't too sure he wants to be a part of it. He and I have a pretty complex relationship that confuses even people that have known us for the 17 years we have been together. That's can be like that. Much of it just can't be explained. I am all about loving people as they are, excepting that they may not ever change, but gently nudging them to be the best person that THEY can be.

Anyhow, I will say that my husband is in the commercial fishing industry. For most of our relationship he has been gone for short and L O N G periods of time. I am used to this, and to be honest, I like it that way. tee hee....doesn't mean I don't love him, but I do like time to myself, and I enjoy my ME time. Recently, as of last April, hubby decided he was taking some time off.....and/or RETIRING! eeeeekkkkkk....he is only 35. What is he talking about? I understand that he is burnt out...but ummmmm RETIRED? I am thinking mid-life crisis here....but I am just going with it...letting him work through it. We will be fine.....right?

So, from April until the second week of November he was home....allllll day.....everyday! I have to say that this is a tough thing for a relationship that is used to being apart more than they are together. We struggled a bit, but we survived. In November he set about honoring an agreement with his former boss to work Crab Season. He traveled 2 hours each morning and night to work the gear and get ready. Usually, in past years he would just stay at the boat, but this time he came home each night. Then the day after Thanksgiving he left to load the boat, head to another port, and start setting the pots. On December first they started crabbing. He has been gone ever since. Time flew....Sugar and I were sick. I was away for a week. Not very many of my "do while hubby is gone" plans got done...and now he is back....2 weeks early. eeeekkkkkk (crab season was not a good one this year) At this point, he is not looking at working....ever...or much...or who knows. He isn't really wanting to talk about it. It has me a little stressed.

All, I can say is that we have some major adjusting to do. You see, 17 years of doing things based on the fact that you have very little and precious time together, is a hard habit to break. I'll admit, over the years...I spoiled him. When he was home, it was allllllllllll about him. We watched what he wanted to watch on TV. We ate his favorite foods. We went where he wanted to go. I put off things I wanted to do until he was gone. Well, my friends, that just isn't going to fly when he is home allllllllllll the time. It can't be all about him, now can it? Ummmm yeah....he still thinks so.

Hold on....cause I think it is going to get bumpy!

Really this isn't meant to be whiney...or complainy....or anything negative really. It started out as just an explanation as to why I didn't have a new post up this morning. tee hee....sorry, you all got the bonus plan I guess. wink wink....

We hope to be back to our regularly scheduled posting tomorrow. Well, actually I might skip Freestyle Friday, and just post what I meant to post last night.

16 Live It or Love It:

Deb said...

It's interesting to learn more about your hubby! We are the opposite in some ways - mine was always home, at least whenever the girls and I were in the evenings and on weekends. But for the past year, he's been working at a job where he works into the evenings and on weekends and we never know when he'll be home or not. It definitely has taken some adjustment!

I hope your hubby is able to work through whatever he needs to... :)

holly said...

ooooooooh. if you figure out how to make it *not* all about him? share that with some of us less enlightened gals. i don't even know
a) where the remote is
b) the proper ends, beginnings, middles of shows, or whether the current snippet a commercial or not!
yeah. a lot of fun. . .

but gosh he makes a great (no, wait he doesn't cook)
well he fixes the (no, he doesn't do diy)
well he's really good at....(i can't remember...)

i'm not helping.

i'll stop now.

remember, you're not me. that is a good mantra "i am not holly."

so... fishing, eh? wonder if mine likes to fish. ...

Heidi said...

Hum...adjustments. That's what life is all about sometimes! Brrr...I'm sure he'll bring in the firewood we need for our stoves these days! And...could you stop by for the signs (2 are ready) when you have a minute? {smiles}

jennwa said...

I think he will get bored and get a job. It will be fun at first but I think he will want to do something. Do you think ?
I feel your pain, my husband would drive me crazy and I would drive him even more crazy.
I hope it works out.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Wow Corey. It puts a lot on your shoulders. I hope he works his stuff out and finds something that he enjoys.
And you are totally right to expect him to give and take. You're in a relationship, he's not your boss or anything.
Mr B needs reminding this at times, we probably all do, but make sure he doesn't wear you down.

P.S. I don't mean this to sound like I have a downer on your hubby. It's just I have an 'upper' on you.

Hmmmm. Upper? It makes less sense that way. But you know what I mean right? x

Autumn said...

Oh sweetie.. I feel your pain. I am in the same kind of situation right now.. just not to your extreme. My hubby just started working a straight day shift. As you know, he has always worked at night. This left my evenings free to do whatever the heck I wanted. There are good and bad times.
Hang in there, you guys will eventually get it figured out. He will figure out what he is going to do with himself... eventually. ok.. this is a long comment. Hugs girlie!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Corey! I swear to you that I could have written that exact same post (though my husband doesn't fish, and he is home at least a couple of nights a week - after I go to bed, and he is gone before I get up.) I too used to make everything about him - dinner, television, bedtime, EVERYTHING was what he wanted - and I didn't mind because he was gone enough for me to do what I wanted to do. He was home all day today, and I seriously wish I was drunk right now (and I don't remember the last time I had a drink!)

I wish I had some wise words or advice instead of 'been there, doing that'! I hope that everything works out!

(P.S. How does Sugar behave for your hubby when he is home? My two are AWFUL when husband is home - they are so used to him being gone, that they behave like he is company! Showing off, misbehaving, refusing naps, etc. As much as they drive me crazy sometimes, and as much as I complain for some help, on most days I would just prefer he weren't here! Good God - I can't believe I just admitted that. Anyway, just curious.)

Candace said...

Ok, my husband works crazy hours and I am alone pretty much every night. Because of that I get to call myself a writer.
I so get this post.

Candace said...

Ok, my husband works crazy hours and I am alone pretty much every night. Because of that I get to call myself a writer.
I so get this post.

The Egel Nest said...

I can't believe your hubby is one of those Deadliest Catch guys!!!

Interesting...very interesting!

The Egel Nest

Mary Ann said...

I can imagine it must be difficult getting used to this new arrangement. I hope that you can both figure out how to adjust. I agree with jennwa. Surely he will get bored and find something to take up some of his time. I like my "me" time too.

Keara @ Now I Know What Life Is All About said...

Yep! I totally understand. I hate my hubby's job at times but I think it makes us better because we actually miss each other. I also enjoy the alone time.

Megan Cobb said...

Marriage seems to me to be one long string of adjustments. There's so much joy in it, so many wonderful benefits - sometimes just in the successful adjustments themselves, because the feeling of accomplishing them together is indelibly hopeful and binding. But there's also pain and discomfort. And growth. I hope you continue to adjust and grow together and that this is the beginning of something fresh, new and wonderful for you as a couple. It always CAN be, you know?

Michelle said...

well that must have been a nice surprise to have him home early like that! I can certainly understand having to adjust to a different schedule though since you've been used to a completely different one for so long!

Pam said...

I don't want you to ever worry about venting to us. We are your blogging buddies, and we are here for you! That is one of the things I love most about blogging.

Lori said...

I know this is going to be a big challenge. I hope that you can both compromise and find a good place to meet in the middle. But, I bet it'll be quite bumpy to start. Lots of hugs for the days to come.

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